The Obliterator

[your mom]

For seasoned veterans only. Get two thick sided plastic botles, from 20 oz to any size you can handle. Start conservatively. Use two liters or half gallons for parties. Water cooler tanks for barbecues. You will also need a metric shload of tubing, in proportion to the size of the bottles as detailed below. Strongly recommended that you have also some sealant such as plumber's putty. Caulks and other glues are very messy and dangerous for stoners. Plumbers putty is like silly putty, but in much biger containers. You may also like to have some tools, such as a drill with a drill bit just a little smaller than the outer diameter of the tubing. Roll a few joints, this may take a while. Prepare the first container in the following way: Insert a tube into the bottom of the container, or into the side of the container, at the bottom. The length of the tube must be equal at least to the height and a little more of the container. For smaller containers, an inner diameter of 3/8 inch is fine. Use 1/2 inch for parties, and on up accordingly. Make a hole at the top of the container and insert a tube that will reach to the bottom. This will hold the bowl and stem, so leave it poking out a little. Make another hole at or near the top and insert another tube a length and a half as long as the one used in the bottom.
For the second container: Make a hole in the bottom. Attach the tube from the bottom of the first container. Make a hole in the top and insert the tube from the top of the first container so that it reaches to the bottom. Make one or more holes in the top and insert tubes for inhalation.
Make sure it's airtight. Pack a bowl. You may want to make a mix, as this device will burn a large amount very quickly. Make sure the first container is on the ground, or at least lower than the second container. Fill the first container with water. Reverse the positions of the two containers, so that the first is above the second. Light the bowl very quickly. Once the water has all drained, reverse the containers again. Continue this process. Soon, smoke will begin to pour from the inhalation tubes. For multiple users, it is courteous not to apply suction to the tube, but to hold the tube barely away from the mouth and breathe the smoke.

[your mom]

Make sure the bowl tube goes to the bottom of the first container. Having problems with the bowl spewing or getting soaked? Try adding a long party balloon to the end of the bowl tube. Cut it off an inch or so out. Tape it if necessary. That should act as a valve to prevent reverse flow into the bowl. Make sure the water tubes are as close to the bottom as possible. Try it like this: turn two liter soda bottles upside down, and use tubes in the lids for water drainage. You may need to add a device to suspend them off the ground. Put a plant hook in the ceiling. Feed some rope trough. Fasten each end to one of the original bottoms of the inverted soda bottles, so that it is easier to raise and lower them. Make sure the tube for smoke is very close to the top of the first container, and that it goes all the way to the bottom of the second container. You may want to add a balloon valve here as well. If you are experiencing a lot of leaking, try a silicone caulk or sealant, like used on bathtubs. Just make sure to have PATIENCE!!! and wait the full time for it to cure, or you will be messy, dissatisfied, and possibly poisoned.