A motley myriad, or a colossal close clique?

[pkkupo]

So I was just thinking about how diverse and scattered my friends are, and I realized that I'm one of the only people I know who doesn't have a large posse of humans that they can hang out with all the time...I hang out with people I met from all over the goddamn place, and most of them either don't know each other, or would (guaranteed) not get along...I've been finding this rather frustrating as of late, seeing as I don't act quite the same around everyone...It's like I'm an actor who doesn't get paid to pander to particular personalities......I have fun with certain small groups of friends by doing drugs and playing Call of Duty, with others I talk physics, computers and other such noetic topics. And others by going to the bar and getting crazy. I am, intrinsically, more of the former two types, but I'd never give up my ridiculous extroverted friends. They're great people and lots of fun. But It's like a fucking paradigm shift every time I switch it up. Sometimes it can be a total head-fuck.

So what do you think guys, is it more advantageous to ones character and quality of life to have an incredibly tightly knit and numerous group of friends who are much like yourself, or many individuals from different lifestyles and interests? Oh, and I'd also like to know what kind of friends do you people have...

[(weedguru)scarf]

Yeah i can relate to this kupo... i have a fairly large group of friends who vary greatly in their lifestyles and personalties.
My closest group of friends, about 5 of us, have been disbanded in the last year with a number of them going to live and work
overseas for a while. Currently i live with one of my closest mates, which is good, but even he and i are very different.
The close group of friends consist of asians, whose traditions and cultures, often revolve around business and money making as a pure form of happiness,
although they have been "tarnished" by the more relaxed liberal australian lifestyle.
I have university friends who are younger and more lively, but also a very creative group..
I have football friends who are very much tradesmen and athletes...

[logically]

I don't have very many friends...

i currently have two friends. One is a smooth talking car salesman in his mid 20s who smokes a ton of weed and sleeps around witha different chick every week despite being engaged to a nice girl.

the other is a guy in his early forties who studies martial arts with me. He doesn't smoke weed, but he plays guitar and is a pretty cool dude to hang out with. He is very wise.

All the other friends in my life i either moved away from and never heard from again, or just disapeared on me... or they have families and no time to visit me...

so i guess just having lots of friends is good. whatever they may be, be thankful for them, friends, especially good ones, are hard to come by.

[(weedguru)scarf]

youre married right logically?

[andriaSRH]

I have a bunch of friends on both sides of the river. I only bother hanging out with the ones who will give me rides. The main group I hang out with are druggies and party people, which is what I am, so our personalites mesh very well.

I have some normie friends from work and school, who I might party with occasionally, but we never have any contact other than that. They are out "contributing to society".

Anyways I think having as many close relationships with other people is all that matters..don't really care if they like the same stuff I do or not. Although people who are completely opposite from me..I don't really care to know them in the first place.

I do think having a best friend of the same sex is important...I don't have one at the moment. I have alot of girlfriends, but none that I talk to for hours, or go have coffee with or w/e.

[weedguru_animal]

.It's like I'm an actor who doesn't get paid to pander to particular personalities

Mate, you need to stop this shit NOW. Stop lying...to yourself and to others. And if they dont like you for it, fuck them. for they are not worth your time...there can come no good, from relationships founded on fakery.

[WeedGuru_Flow]

well, I have three male best friends, guys I see on a day to day basis, and around that are various layers of friends (of both sexes ,duh) and people I know.

But it's not like I have this gang of people that I always go party with or shit like that , so in that respect I can see where you come from. I'm kinda stuck with one best friend 40 miles away in Ghent so I hardly see him, and the other two are basically lazy ass bitches haha,we party together and stuff but sometimes I wish they were more active.

So that's why I have a bunch of other people that I don't necessarily hang out with every day or week, but hit up when I'm bored or whatever.


Don't worry man, it's better to have a few good friends you know you can rely on than a bunch of people you kinda know but can't depend on.

[wgToonces]

I have about 4-6 close ass friends, we've basically all been through roughly the same shit and like the same things, music, weed etc so it's all good. I have about 10 other friends who I don't see that often but am close to whenever I do see them.

As for the actor thing. If that's what you're like man then that's what you're like/. But if you're a different person indoor and feel you have to act a certain way to certain people then yeah, you should probably stop. Find people who like you for you. If you don't eventually you'll have a few sets of friends in the same place at the same time and there's a good chance they'll see you as a kind of fake person.

[andriaSRH]

If people don't like you for you, fuck em. If you can't be yourself around them, then it's really not worth it. Being friends with someone is about being comfortable around them.

I admit sometimes I put on an act when I'm around new people, but it's because I'm not comfortable around them.

[wgToonces]

You don't comfortable around them?

[andriaSRH]

Stfu

[SToNeR ChRiS]

I agree with a lot of what's being said, but there can definitely be a difference in relationships between friends... to the extent where you act differently around them than you would around others. It doesn't necessarily have to mean that you're not being yourself around them, you just may not be into some of the same things as each other. I don't think one should just not be friends with the person because of it, if they get along with them at any personal level. This is a personal assessment, but being around the same type of people all the time can get kind of boring, so it's good to change it up now and then. I don't necessarily find being an 'actor' a bad thing, unless you dislike the activities that you're doing. If there's any type of underlying negative emotions, however, then it's obviously a bad thing to practice.

So... to answer your question about whether or not it's 'better' to have a tightly knit group of friends or a motley myriad, I believe that much like everything, it's best to have a taste of both worlds. I have learned over time that personalities are somewhat malleable and you never know when your attitude may change towards something you dislike in the present. Once you start cutting people out of your life, it becomes easier and easier to do and you may end up a pretty lonely individual (Have you seen 'Yes Man' ? ). With that being said, one shouldn't just hang out with anybody, there needs to be a little judgment when it comes to shady characters. It's all really up to the individual though, like you said, some people are extroverted and others introverted. Their answers to your question would in all likelihood probably be the exact opposite of one another. I used to hang out with different people every single day but as time goes on I find myself sticking to the same 10-15 inner circle I have for the most part.

[Bubbles]

broseph, in the first 3 years of highschool i always tried to have the most friends i could, over time though ive stopped caring about that and kind of realized i dont really like people. just have like 4-5 friends to hang out with once in awhile.

[(weedguru)scarf]

Anyways I think having as many close relationships with other people is all that matters..don't really care if they like the same stuff I do or not. Although people who are completely opposite from me..I don't really care to know them in the first place.

haha so many contradictions...

[andriaSRH]

I only noticed one...

I guess what I was trying to say is...if someone is like the total opposite of me, like a prep, I wouldn't bother getting to know them or even attempt to. In order for me to want to get to know someone we at least have to get along..and usually when I get along with people we have at least one thing in common, like drinking for instance.