What follows is a scrambled report of what transpired at the Millenium stadium; Before/During/After the game.
The Risseraptor...
The world’s oldest domestic football cup competition came to Cardiff’s Millennium stadium yesterday, where Liverpool and West Ham battled it out for the holy grail itself, the FA cup.
PreVieW:
Some say the romance of the cup has been dying since the dirty stench of money started to play such an important role in all aspects of the game we all hold so dear to our hearts. I would say this financial polarization began in earnest during the mid 90's, before which there was only the 11m transfer of Gianluigi Lentini that seemed crazy., 11m seems small change given the 10's of millions spent on even average players in the modern game. I recall a few years back when both Manchester United and Arsenal were concentrating their efforts on European adventures; both teams were widely criticized for fielding reserve XIs in FA cup matches. Anger and disgust were justifiably felt and expressed by fellow professionals and fans the world over. However, recent years have seen a resurgence in fervour for FA silverware and this season ‘s competition saw most the top teams going flat out for success from the start to wherever they ended up, which for Rafael Benitez of Liverpool, and Alan Pardew of West Ham, means The Final...
Liverpools destructive midfield general, Sissoko.
Liverpool Preview:
A 3rd place finish in the Premier League for Liverpool showed an improvement in consistency, but still the same lack of whatever magic Chelsea (and Man United towards the end of the season) possess in spades. Harry Kewell has been playing well since his latest return from two years of niggling ligament problems, Captain Courageous Stevie Gerrard has exhibited increased discipline and thankfully, for all the British supporters- a more robust physical shell than has been seen in previous seasons. Flamboyantly image conscious french forward Cisse has weighed in with his fair share of goals though ultimately failed to live up the brief glimpses of Genius potential seen in his pre-Liverpool days. Peter ‘put the ball 10 ft in the air or I will have to ‘Crouch has continued to fool the Anfield faithful into agreeing with the fallacy that he is indeed a good player, with a series of swashbuckling beanpole performances. It is in defence where Liverpool’ strong season has been based and anchored, with the Finnan, Hyppia, Carragher Risse combination holding firm against all but the most lethal of assassins. The Spaniard, Alonso, has grown in stature, gradually establishing his creative mind and delicate feet as the hub of the team’s attacking endeavours, which in turn has taken a little of the pressure off Gerrard who generally carries the team on his back like a sack of shit. To counter balance the offensive tendencies of Alonso and Gerrrad, Sissoko plays the Gilberto Silva/Makelele role; cutting through opponents with alarmingly regular two footed lunges and acting as a roaming custodian for the two centre backs, not likely to score the winner, equally not the kind of chap you would want to get stomped by . Robbie Fowlers return to Mersey side has been encouraging but he is hardly a long term solution for their lack of bite in attack. He is unable to play in the FA final due to being cup-tied after efforts with former employer Manchester City.
Already assured a place in next seasons champions league qualifiers , courtesy of their 3rd place finish in the premiership, the final represents the last chance for any silverware to be added to Afield’s trophy cabinet.
West Ham Preview
Hammers Boss, Pardew, is as much father figure as boss to his young stallions...
Alan Pardew’s West Ham are still buoyant with the joy and elation that came from their creditable ninth place finish I the Premiership. He has fashioned a squad which blends together a potent mixture of youthful exuberance, vintage knowledge, hunger for success and perhaps most importantly, team-spirit. The 50 year old Teddy Sheringham, has continued to defy the natural law of ageing, with cameo performances and goals admirable for a man 30 years his junior. ‘Adventurous and determined’ could be said of many of the squads younger players, take for example club captain, Nigel Reo Cocker, whose boundless vitality is derived from an engine modelled on Valentino Rossi’s 2005 Moto GP title winning Yamaha. The twenty three year old midfielder leads by example; flying into every challenge as if it were the last action to be completed before the world suddenly explodes, box to box he runs, simple passes, linking the play between his defence and attack. Mathew Ethrington offers beguiling dribbling skills, dependable passing, pace and if the situation permits- swerving shots from range. On the opposite flank, the right footed Israeli Ben Belayaun, attacks thoughtfully , roaming across the width of the final third, teasing and testing, poking for holes, until an opportunity presents itself then he takes it, a neat flick over, nonchalant backheel; a man of useful deception. Carl Fletcher partners the captain in the centre of midfield to create a powerful, mobile anchor for the team to attack/defend as the need arises. Anton Ferdinand(yes the little brother of man united’s glue sniffing centre back, Rio), Gabbidon and Konchesky, are all solid performers in the Hammers’ rear guard, with only the Right back berth proving a problem. Leading the line up front is Marlon Harewood; robust, brave, pacey and fast-developing that crucial eye for goal that all strikers require to be successful. With 17 premiership goals to his name this season, Mr Harewood mus be taken seriously. His sidekick is the classic British bulldog, Dean Ashton who makes up for his lack of height with an insatiable desire for battle, not only can he scrap like a well established pub fighter, he can also score goals.
West Ham play exciting, adventurous football, both home and away. This singular style has suited them well throughout their arduous journey to the Fa Cup final i.e. most teams play more defensive in the harder away matches (harder because foreign surroundings, not massive partisan support, a lions den rather than a zoo).
Horrible, heinous, hardman, Dietar Hamman.
The TUNNEL::
The predominately British Hammers joked and tried to calm each other down, nerves were evident but excitement was more palpable. There seemed to be a buzz zipping between the claret and blue shirts. In stark contrast, the Red’s stood almost motionless, sombre, perhaps as German Nazi soldiers looked before they went into a battle that they knew they would/should win. Stevie ‘cuddly’ gerrard appeared more reptilian than human; a cold detachment lay stagnant in grey eyes, icy calm, exuding arctic serenity. Behind the captain stood the demonic ginger imp, Risse, quietly pouring molten lead on the outer rims of his boots and teeth...
Line ups:
Liverpool-
Reina
Finnan Carragher Hyppia Rise
Gerrard sissoko Alonso
Kewell
Cisse Crouch
West Ham-
Hislop
Scaloni A.Ferdinand Gabbidon Konchesky
Fletcher Reo-Cocker
Belayaun Ethrington
Ashton
Harewood
The important minutes:>
1'- Konchesky imposes his authority on the left flank by scything down Gerrard. An obvious, and inconclusive attempt to ruffle the feathers of the Liverpool captain courageous.
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21' A misplaced pass by off-colour Xavi Alonso is intercepted by Argentine right back Scaloni, who puts Belayaun in on goal. The Israelite strikes the ball across the face of goal, hoping to find the boot of Harewood, only to see his driven pass pushed past the hapless Reina by a throughly disorientated Jaime Carragher. An Og’, but who cares!!*****!0-1 to the Hammers.
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22' Ethrington crudely pole-axed by the intentionally vicious Sissoko.
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23' Theatrics from Cisse, who felt- as ever- that he had a case for attempted murder when his own lack of balance caused a nasty fall to the ground as he was about to shoot. Despite the fact that he had fallen into the back of a defender, the Frenchmen still felt that he deserved a penalty, or at least a yellow card for an opponent of his pointing....
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26' Venturous movement towards Reina’s goal continues to mount and subside, with reo-cocker pulling the strings from the West Ham control centre; set-up about 10 yards in front of his centre backs..
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28' Dean Ashton reacts like a cobra to score past Reina after the Spaniard spills Ethrington’s left foot drive from 18 yards. The west ham winger had cut in from the left of midfield, sidestepped a static Hyppia, then found room to unleash a shot, which in all honesty, should have been held by Reina. But it wasn’t. And Ashton was on hand to make it 0-2!******
30' A volleyed Peter Crouch goal is disallowed for offside:::>>> Stevie gerrard floats over a perfect 40yard free kick from close to the right touchline, which lands plum on the scrawny 12 inch toe of the giant Crouch, before finding it’s way over the goal-line past a bewildered Hislop..Celebrations cut short, Referee disallows the accurate volley, for offside: After viewing the replay several times I am inclined to say this was a wrong decision on the linesman’s part, as Crouch looked onside.
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33'Gerrard hits another curling cross from the right flank, across the area, past Gabbidon and Ferdinand- who stood stone still, arms prostrate in the air looking/hoping for an offside call that never came-for Cisse to score a well taken right foot (fully extended) volley past the slow to react Hislop. ******1-2. Gerrard starting to become more influential.
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34' Cisse, on fire after the goal, takes another tumble(this time due to his laces been tied improperly), then proceeds to walk up and down the pitch with the exact facial expression of a wounded, constipated bear. (‘We don’t let him shit for days,’ said Liverpool Club Doctor, Karl-Heinz Himler,’we have found that-like most animals- he performs better under pressure’)
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38' A rare glimpse of Alonso’s capabilities as he threads a perfect through-ball for Cisse to snap at like an angry alligator. The Frenchman shot is well wide of the target.
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39' Benitez seen urging his team forwards to get the all-important just before the whistle equalizer...
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41' The play is one directional. Liverpool launching wave after wave of pressure onto the resolute West Ham backbone. Will it break???Not if Reo Cocker has a say in the matter. The Hammers Captain cements his rep as a tireless, bloodthirsty ball winner, often being the last man standing between a posse of Liverpool players and the goal behind him. He stands firm.
Half time report:
For the most part a very even contest, but after Cisse’s equalizer Liverpool grew in stature and dominance, bombarding the east Londoners with slick passing and intelligent movement. West Ham have not been outdone. Still leading, and to be honest looking capable of scoring more against this inflexible Liverpool defence. The best men on the pitch are Nigel Reo Cocker, currently my man of the match and Dean Ashton, who has done a superb job of obstructing Alonso from receiving the ball from the Liverpool defenders AND scored an all important goal. The two wingers Belayaun and Ethrington have caused Liverpool problems throughout the first 45 minutes, employing cunning and pace to unsettle the obviously nervy Carragher and especially Rise, whose trademark forward runs and cannonball shots have been absent from Liverpool’s play.’Never bet against a giant ginger imp’ as my mum used to say.
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46' Harry kewell is noticeably limping. Must have suffered a mild injury towards the end of the first half and returned after the interval with the hope that he could run it off.
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47' The mammoth frame of Sissoko is brought crashing to the ground by a flurry of Ashton rabbit punches, causing the earth to shake so hard that tremors were felt as far away as the East End of London where a million pint glasses shook and spilled in unison. Nice to see the two players shake hands after such a tackle. Professionals.
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48' The obviously injured Kewell is replaced by Morientes. The Spanish forward has not yet adjusted to English football, and this has been another season of failure for a player who has -in my opinion- a deserved reputation as an ace striker, especially in the air. I recall with pleasure, the great goals he scored for Monaco a few years back in the champions league. Still, as I said, he hasn’t really managed to fire up all cylinders since his arrival on Mersey side.
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49' Risse pile-driver whistles past the corner flag.
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54' An unfairly awarded free-kick taken by Risse is scambled away by Ferdinand and Gabbidon, only as far as Gerrard who makes no mistake from 10 yards when firing a rocket to Hislop’s unguarded, ultra-vulnerable left hand side.*****.2-2. Captain Courageous to the rescue for Liverpool yet again.
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59' Are west-ham playing for penalties??Liverpool in the driving seat. Hammers on the rack, being poked and tortured. Will they surrender???”fuck no” roars Reo cocker as he slides through the heels of the now crumpled Alonso...
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61' Dean Ashton is booked for an entertaining but illegal two footed scraper down Finnan’s calf muscles.
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63' Hammers boss, Alan Pardew is seen staring philosophically from the dugout, his gaze fixed, the eyes determined. Perhaps in his head lies the thought ‘if I concentrate hard enough we will win’. In contrast, Liverpool’s often Rightly insulted Rafa Benitez, is as animated as speedy Gonzalez, muttering foreign swear-word tirades which he launches seemingly indiscriminately against officials and players alike.
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64' The unlikely left boot of Paul konchesky powers a cross/shot into the top corner of the goal from 30 yards out. His run down the wing looked like it had hit the proverbial brick wall, but the former marine stunned the crowd and importantly also the Liverpool defenders and goalkeeper, by unleashing an unstoppable 30 yard chip, which dropped dramatically over Reina’s weak jump to nestle softly in the right hand corner of the welcoming net.....2-3 to the Hammers!
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65' West Ham have twenty five minutes to defend their slim advantage like lion cubs. They need a leader. They need a professional who has been here before..... Mr Sheringham???????
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68' The play is now end2end stuff. Liverpool forced to put all hands t the pump as they search for another equalizer. Ineffective Alonso departs the field in exchange for KromKamp(Scandinavian type, unknown in my memory banks), who assumes a position attacking down the right.
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69' Reds flow forward, then they meet Reo Cocker or Gabbidon or a kung-fu tackling Konchesky. Belayaun creates consecutive counter attacks. He has been both influential, and instrumental in most, if not all, of west Hams best attacking football.
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71' Hard working Ashton is replaced by ex-seagulls star, Bobby Zamora. Crouch is hauled off as the notoriously evil Dietar Haman is allowed to return to open warfare (as he calls it) for the first time since the horrific incident of 1943 when the German national team played against a prisoners XI and Haman killed two players.
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72' Gerrard goes into attack, then decides to instead lurk 20 yards from the ball, following it’s random path over the green grass and meatheads in colourful material, he is waiting to pounce like a leopard unaware of anything but the prey. He understands that an equalizer depends on his feet, not those of his team-mates who at the best of times look like a second string Gillingham XI.
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73'‘Sacrifice an attacker Pardew, you fool, YOU MUST GET A MAN ON GERRARD’ I shout.
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77' Dailly takes to the fray in place of midfield battler Carl flecther.
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78' Benitez sends the order ’turn that fucking screw’ t his troops via his personal carrier pigeon which flies from player to player echoing the mangers words in a basic squawk language that is taught at the Liverpool academy of excellence. I, for one, feel this technique is out of place in England. If the Spaniards wanna use tactics like that. Fine, good luck to them, but not in the FA Cup. Hammers are getting hammered.
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84' worrying signs for all English people except west ham supporters, as Gerrard is seen limping.
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85' Finally on comes The Professional, Teddy ‘the shit’ sheringham. The lively and well worked ethrington makes way for the former prince of Hollywood and Brixton. Teddy, at 52 years and 40 days, becomes the oldest player to have taken part in a fa cup final.
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89' Cisse doubles up in agony, falls to the ground, then manages to find his way back to his feet which both seem fucked (he was trotting awkwardly like a recent double amputee who was trying to get used to stumps instead of feet), though a quick examination by the ref indicates that the ‘injury’ is nothing more serious than a cramp. Wankers wrist at that. Shame on you Cisse. You playacting wanker.
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90' Just after the PA announces ‘there will be 4 minutes of stoppage time..’ a scramble in the Hammer’s box sends the ball uncontrollably spinning towards the halfway line...15 yards before it reaches the white marking of the middle, Steven gerrard pops up out of nowhere to blast a 40 yard lighting bolt past a melee of players and the flailing arms of Hislop...and into the corner of the net....3-3. All square now....
There are only a handful of players who could score a goal like this one. Totti. Ronaldinho.Rooney. Alan Pouton. Andrew Crofts. To hit a ball with such ferocity and accuracy from the kind of distance I am talking about is nothing short of spectacular. Try to get past the sheer shock of seeing the actual goal, so you can also appreciate the fact that until gerrard manufactured this freak but welcome masterpiece, Liverpool were only seconds away from losing the FA Cup final. This man seems to thrive on not only the big occasions but also on the highest pressure moments. Do you recall Beckham’s free-kick against Greece?... It was not just his Technique that I applauded, more-so his spirit and dare I say it, that magical natural talent to turn pressure moments into national relief/happiness/celebration. It is almost as if sometimes these great players wait for the time to be most Right. Optimum conditions for optimum enjoyment. Better to score a wonder goal in the last minute of a FA cup Final, than during a practice match.
Without Gerrrad, this Liverpool team are nothing but a bunch of whiny/evil footballing Super-Mercenaries(with the exception of Luis Garcia, not playing in this game due to suspension, he is another class act, though still Spanish)capable of nothing more than mid-table mediocrity in the Premiership. Though with Gerrard in their ranks, they can beat any team.
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94' end of normal time..
Extra time:
A understandably cagey affair with players from both teams succumbing to cramps and various ailments connected to fatigue and over-exertion of the body. Hyppia and Belayaun both had good shots saved/just off target. By the end of the fist period of extra time, Cisse is almost fully immobile, refusing to even try walk, resigned to sitting on the pitch t await the restart. Both teams had used all their subs by this point, so the players who were on the pitch were staying on unless struck down by a sniper in the crowd. The lively Harewood lies writhing in agony on the grass after Sissoko rips out his spleen, shakes it around, then chucks it back in, crudely sellotapes the wound closed before the ref can see any real damage and find cause for punitive measures.... On 28' a Balyouan free-kick finds the head of Reo Cocker who sends the ball through the hollow O shape made by Reina’s arms, and agonizingly onto the frame of the goal. The rebound falls to the crippled form of Harewood who flashes his shot well wide of the goal which was only 3 yards away and wide open...Both teams could have won it during extra time, but neither had the luck or technique, or that last extra buzz of energy... whatever was required was lacking.
As the seconds ticked by I felt pity for the west ham players. Pity because I knew full well that in a penalty shoot-out situation excitement and youthful exuberance are your enemies not friends. And with that in mind, the penalties lottery looked more like a lacklustre, one-sided, flattering to deceive, formality in which Liverpool with their cold hearted, experienced players would triumph with ease. That is how I felt and that is pretty much how it went.
Penalties
Hislop looked resigned to Let it Be while his opposite number, Reina, appeared more confident, inside he was chanting the Catalan version ofU can't touch this(Mc Hammer). Maybe because hthe Liverpool numero uno saw the penalties as a flurry of opportunities to further his Spanish reputation as ‘El Shit-Shoveller Extraodinario’ (Super shot-stopper).
Watching the Liverpool keeper wriggle about on the line, what the fuck is he doing? Mixing a bit of Grobbelar’s crazy legs routine with his own latin devilry. “I’ve seen this before, dudek you cunt!”..Someone please watch that bastards legs....
1- Haman(LIV)
a face incapable of emotion. A body built for killing and football. No hesitation. Not one droplet of sweat on his brow. The German x-SS officer despatches the ball into the net with ruthless efficiency. 1-0
2.Bobby Zamora(WHM)
Calm. But perhaps a touch too eager to take aim and fire. Well struck penalty but saved by Reina who looked suspiciously as if he had jumped the gun inre: keeping on his fucking line. What the hell is this shit with Liverpool goalkeepers and penalties. Grobbelar, surely, was more out for his own financial aims and those of his betting partners, but Dudek and now Reina, why must they cheat? it stays 1-0 to the reds.
3.Hyppia(LIV)- The lumbering Scandinavian builder’s pinup boy of the year, hits a powerful right foot bullet that is well saved by Hislop, who gets down low and fast to avert the danger.1-0
4.The Man.(WHM)
Teddy takes the best penalty so far, with a right foot drive to the top right corner
of the net. He should write a book ’how to take a penalty, with style’....1-1
5.Gerrard(LIV)
Clinically scores, More technically perfect than Sheringham’s effort but lacking the charm. Unsurprisingly. 2-1 Liverpool lead
6. Konchesky(WHM).
Scorer of the wonder goal to make the game 3-2 during the second half of normal time, the left back’s tame effort from the spot is saved by Reina. 2-1
7.Risse(LIV)
Tasting the air with his tongue like a lizard would when looking for prey before a long run up, powerhouse knockout blast that could have gone anywhere, but unfortunately for West ham , finished up in the net. A commanding 4-2 lead for Liverpool...
8Anton Ferdinand(WHM)
Nerves were literally sweating themselves out of the young defenders’ body. He looked like the only blade of grass left on a football pitch, the same blade that had just been spotted by the groundsman who is approaching with his combine harvester/lawnmower with the firm intention of finishing the job......Reina saves the poor lad’s weak strike, then throws his arms in the air to thanks the gods of bad sportsmanship for the victory...Anton is left with his head in his hands, a desolate figure wondering what could have been....
Liverpool win the FA Cup 3-3 (3-1 on pens)
A rare show of warmth from Liverpool captain, Stevie Gerrard.
Conclusions:
This was a great match. A glorious battle of heart and spirit pitted against organisation, experience and cold blooded determination was waged in the Millennium stadium and essentially I feel that Evil triumphed over Good. If Gerrard had not played for Liverpool, West Ham. On todays form, would have won. The Liverpool and England midfielders performance was nothing short of breathtaking and wonderfully encouraging for all the millions of English supporters hoping that Stevie can have a good world cup campaign. I am no Liverpool fan, in fact I despise them more so than any other team. The reasons for this stem from their managerial choices and transfer policy(with the exception being Robbie Fowler who I immensely enjoy watching play). It feels a little hollow to see a foreign manager winning the very British FA cup with a decidedly foreign team who play in a very tactical foreign manner. Only three out of the fourteen players used by Liverpool in this match, are natives of the UK whereas West Ham give a UK player result of 12/15. I think that there needs to be a line drawn somewhere between ‘restricting the freedom of movement of trade and workers’ and ‘winning the British FA cup with 12/15 foreign players’. Perhaps the chairmen of all league clubs could confer with the FA and PFA to arrange some kind of deal whereby each team must put out at least 5/11 UK players in each starting 11. This way, there would be far more chance of exposing more Wayne Rooneys and less Peter Crouchs. Money talks/rules., even in the wonderful world of football. The singular, but noteworthy, consolation vis-a-vis the motley crew of nationalities that make-up Liverpool’s lineup is that their most important player is a Brit.
Credit must go to Pardew and his charges for giving their all. But in the end whatever West Ham could do as a team, ultimately Stevie Gerrard could do better.
Heartbreak for the hammers. More silverware for Benitez to melt down and use to line Sissoko’s bladeboots.........
Man of the Match: Gerrard, without him Liverpool would be fucked.
This is why so much blood is spillled, so many tears are cried and so many pints are downed in one swig...The FA Cup.