reaching apoint

[weedguru_animal]

im reachin a point where i gotta decide,
do i face my problems, escape or hide?
cos this path on which i walk,
differs greatly from the ideas i talk..

a year ago i was happy,
but now you find me sad,
working a job thats quickly driving me mad,
unsure what to do, where i wanna be,
and wholly unable to find any kind of lasting glee..

im standing still,
watching life move by on the other side of the window sill,
time is passing but im no getting anywhere,
creating more stress for which i dont have the capacity to bear...

so i smoke,
try to see everything as a joke,
do as little as possible to buck the trend of been broke,
while the sufficating effect of my habitat continues to choke;
the dreams, the ideas,
replaced with nightmares and fears.

if ive got no weed, i seek out some wine,
its like i need drink or smoke just to feel fine,
just to be able to comfortably recline,
and write another line,
so what does it mean?
my constant thirst for green?
my yearning for a different mental state,
just to help me forget the conseuqences of another debt rapayment been late....