i have no drive to draw paint or express myself creatively.
the shitty part is i know why. its because im fucking happy.
i have have always used my art to help me deal with negative emotions by getting them out in the open. it feels like im giving some of that energy to the page to lessen my own load. and now that all i have is happy energy i dont wanna give any of it up.
Odd. I usually feel the urge to express negative things (or positive and everywhere in between) musically when I'm happy. When I'm in a funk I don't give a shit enough to pick up a guitar and just end up watching Dr. Who or something... Unless it's an intense negative, which is rare... Maybe try to express the happy, Stabbo... Sometimes expressing the happy can be humbling but satisfying, I find...
Like all dreamers, I mistook disenchantment for truth...
I think that in both music and other forms of art, it is much easier to make good art that expresses a negative feeling, but much harder to make something that expresses happiness.
Can't trust anyone. Selling legal substances got an unsigned search warrant for my place, where I wasn't home at the time. Roommate didn't know her rights, so she let them right in.
Possession of marijuana W/I MAN/DEL/SELL.
The cops fucked my spine up (I have degenerative disc disease) when they slammed me against the car. I was standing in the corner of my cell for 3 days straight, unable to sit or lay down.
This world is fucked and I think I might be done with it. Spent the last few years of my life in physical agony and I'm a psychological trainwreck. It just doesn't seem worth it to keep this shit up, but I don't know. Life won't get much better. Good-bye, everyone.
It sounds to me like a suicide note. I hope not. JTP get yourself a good lawyer man, based on what you've said about the cops having an unsigned warrant, entering without your permission (idk if the roommate can give the police permission to search YOUR room), and fucking up your spine, a good lawyer can get all of that thrown out.
I personally recommend checking oneself for OCD at least once every 5 minutes.
I don't understand how being dead could fix any problem...it just causes more. Sorry I cant elaborate cuz im on a phone...but seriously jtp, don't do any thing crazy, if total strangers care this much about yoy,, just think of how devastated your family would be.
sugarstalker wrote:well shit, I have no idea what this last post by JTP means, is he just quitting the drugs, or weedguru? or is it something even more serious?
I don't know. It sounded more serious, but if he's feeling like that, he definitely needs to quit the drugs.
Death is the only certainty. EVERYTHING else is variable.
Ikku wrote:It sounds to me like a suicide note. I hope not. JTP get yourself a good lawyer man, based on what you've said about the cops having an unsigned warrant, entering without your permission (idk if the roommate can give the police permission to search YOUR room), and fucking up your spine, a good lawyer can get all of that thrown out.
Agreed.
JTP, it's not like you were charged with murder... you may have been charged with a felony (or not, not hundred percent sure), but fuck man I'm pretty sure you're smart enough to get through this.
Last edited by JokersAce on Tue Jun 26, 2012 10:04 am, edited 1 time in total.
When the going gets weird, the werid turn pro.
HOW CAN SO MANY YEARS COME TO PASS WITHOUT ANYONE TELLING ME I SPELLED WEIRD WRONG?
Uuuggghhhb why must dieting be so hard!!!! My. Urges are overcoming, my will is wavering. Why can't healthy food be as delicous as pizza and instant noodles... ohh well apples and peanut butter it is... hmmmm maybe I'm just thirsty.. naaahh..
Go to the recipes section on bodybuilding.com, there's a ton of different ideas in there that are tasty and will keep you motivated.
Also, if you don't have a history of heart problems, try doing an ECA stack. Ephedrine + caffeine + aspirin. I've never added aspirin to the mix, the ephedrine and caffeine is really what matters. To get ephedrine you have to go to the pharmacy and ask for a bronchodilator for asthma. Ask for Bronkaid, they don't sell it anymore but they can give you a generic. It's like 10 bucks for a box of 60. Just don't go crazy with it and take over the recommended dose, it's bad for your heart. That shit will get you lean and cut like a mofo though. Make sure you stick with the diet and exercise while on it.
I personally recommend checking oneself for OCD at least once every 5 minutes.
If you guys were to commit suicide, how would you do it?
I like the idea of seeing a body suspended from the ground, being hanged from the ceiling. That kind of image, of a swaying body, with a lifeless face, that would stay with you for the rest of your life.
It may look like i'm playing the Ocarina, but it's actually a well disguised bong. Don't tell the princess.