The Random Topic

[Gorecore]

My mouth was absolutely KILLING me last night around 9:30!
At 1:30 am, I was standing in the kitchen and talking with Dad after he watched the Oscars. I tasted something god-awful on my tongue and said, "Oh shit, I think the abcess in my mouth is leaking!" Dad told me to go to the bathroom and try pushing on my face, or using my tongue to apply pressure to the area.

I pried my sore mouth open and used my index finger like a fish hook and pulled my cheek away from my teeth and saw a white bubble on my gums and against my cheek tissue. I popped my tongue in behind it, against the molar and gum tissue and pushed forward on the white lump as hard as I could. WHOOSH! A torrent of brown, yellow, and red flooded out onto my teeth and tongue. I spat out the giant wad of infection and rinsed my mouth. I repeated the whole proceedure over and over until the only thing I was spitting was blood.

Within an hour, my mouth felt so fucking good, I wanted to cry with happiness. I woke up today with very minimal swelling and about 20 percent of the pain I have been suffering with since Wednesday. I'm so happy everything is getting better.


**While I was typing this post, I received a phone call for my FIRST job interview since being without a job for close to a month!! It's for some insurance benefits company called AIL Insurance. The HR person speaking to me on the phone said the job doesn't entail me talking to the general public, but unionized employees and businesses and their insurance needs...or something like that. I was just so happy to FINALLY get an interview! It's for this Wednesday at 11 am, so wish me luck!**

[AbbyRoad]

gore dude! im so freaking happy for you

two good things,
flushing out some of the infection and a job interview! plus a woman of interest
thing are defo on the up and up eh

ok so im having a minor weed crisis.
i would always buy off my two friends. mike and doug. mike bought his supply off doug, so technically i didnt ever have to buy off mike, but he if he wasnt selling to me he couldnt afford to smoke up himself or go drinking on the weekends. so it was kind of a sick scheme we all worked out. but now dougs dealer was busted, selling more than weed i may add. so the whole weed supply is gone. doug will not be selling due to paranoia and mike was fronting ever ounce cause of his brokeness so he will not be able to get another dealer.
the result is i dont know anyone selling....all my friends are going to be dry as hell in 2 days time.

im gonna try and bring back at least an ounce from my parents and ration that shit out until i can work things out here

[Gorecore]

Aw, Abby! That really sucks that your weed supplies, and supplier are vanishing before your eyes! I'll keep my fingers crossed for you that things work out and you won't have to go dry! Although, there's nothing wrong with a little break from it, even if it wasn't planned and more forced upon you. I haven't toked in a month, and I honestly feel great! My head feels a lot clearer, not forking out money for it, and so forth. Then again, meeting my new lady has kept me quite occupied. She has no problem with me toking, as long as I don't become a super-chronic person.

And with this new job prospect looming on the horizion, it sounds like the type of place that I should keep my head as clear as I can. Supposedly, there are people working there that are doing the same job I could be doing, and they're earning upwards of $100,000 a year!! I almost shat myself when I heard that! Or, it's the antibiotics doing that...

My whole life, I've never earned more than 30K a year...so the chance to earn that type of money blows my mind! I know that money is the root of evil and doesn't lead to happiness...but it sure can make life a helluva lot easier! With that kind of money, I could be debt free in 6 months or less! I could FINALLY get a car! And even my own little apartment or something...until I see what is transpiring with me and the girlie-girl in my life right now. She has a sweet little house in a fairly rural area that I feel completely comfortable being in.

You know what's funny? Last night, I printed the guitar tabs for the song "Lucky" by Radiohead and started learning it very quickly...along with singing it while strumming. It just felt right, for some reason. Especially the lyric, "It's gonna be a glorious day // I feel my luck could change."

Is that karma, or what? I start playing the song, and within hours my infection is fading, potential great career is fermenting, and my love life is buzzing and humming like a power source.

[logically]

dude that story was so metal.

i almost puked blood from it.

spitting infection out of your mouth.... that's a good lyric.

[weedguru_waffles]

Why is it that people are always attracted to what they can't have? Something/someone who is unattainable that makes them so desirable... And when you can have something/someone, you don't really want them. If Someone is attracted to you, you aren't attracted to them. Is there any possible way for those come hand in hand... where who you want, wants you back? and who wants you, you will want them..? It seems like everyone is falling in love now, getting engaged, they have that something special that I want, but it seems so out of reach...

We live in such a fucked up world...seriously, so many of us are lost...just trying to find our way...however way we can. Not to say that Im miserable, but there has been a small cloud thats lingered over me the last couple weeks that I want to get rid of.

I learned alot over the past few weeks about myself...what I want...what direction I want to go in...and no question about it, the last month slowed me down because I was like a freight train plowing through everything that came my way.

However, though some new issues involving trust have developed, I've come to realize that trust truly does grow over time, and to hold my feelings closer to myself, lest I give them away too easily again.

But for now...you know what...I just dont want to get involved with anyone again for a little while. I just want to enjoy this time on my own, focus on school...hang out with my friends...have a little fun ...relax...enjoy my job...and just kick back! Summer is quickly on it's way...!

Fuck...men can be such a mind fuck, ninjaing your brain, unintentional or not... , hahaha...but its okay...I still love them, even if they annoy the crap out of me at times, lol.

I want to meet someone...but maybe I suppose its just not the right time to do so for me. Maybe this summer, I just need to focus on being me, doing what I want, and enjoying the company of myself, and my friends and loved ones...

[sugarstalker]

woman, complaining about men being complicated? that's rich...

[(weedguru)scarf]

^^^^ im going to agree with the above....

seems like a whole lot of shit has been happening in my small absence... but congratulations to gore and a hug to waffles....

and abby... that sucks....

as for me im busy as fuck...

[Mate]

Both sex are an enigma to the other - that is for sure.

The huge problem with relationships is that people tends to be togheter to look at each other instead of looking in the same direction.
it is (in my mind and eyes) impossible for 2 people to last togheter if they do not go in the same direction - a couple should walk on the same roads in the tortuous adventure of life to help each other on that way - you can't walk on a different path than the person you're with and still be in the same page for a long period of time.

a good example is my ex dumping me out because of my traveling - i have been really mad about it for a while - but i'm really happy of her honesty - if she were a stuck up woman and didnt talk- enduring my lifestyle - i would've been the only happy person in the relationship and she would've endure a boyfriend that has a lifestyle that does not matches hers. The chances are that the relationship would end violently and unelegantly.
She did want a man to be constantly with - and i'm the kind of person that constantly travels - even if we have that spiritual conection and intimacy, it just won't work. we're not walking on the same roads.

A lack of communication will also create huge problems - most of woman i've been with tought i could read trought their entities. Like - because i was their boyfriend - i should immediatly know when there is a problem even if she's acting like if life is good and everything is ok.
Unfortunaly for them - i am not some sort of psychics that can read in people's mind- and if the woman i am with do not talk to me about what they don't like in a relationship - or about any god damn problem of some sort - i can not solve it or do anything about it.

i remember asking that famous question: Are you sure you feel ok ?
and getting that concrete answers : I don't know
way too many times.

What the fuck. i am not Ghandi. I can most of the time guess if my girlfriend feels good or bad - but if she acts like everything is ok and answers me shits like ''i don't know'' when i inquires information about her feelings- i can't do anything.

This is my men version of ''woman brain ninajeing'' I am not trying to universalise all woman on that planet - i am just refering to my personal experience. The only real and honest girl i have been with dumped me for the reason i would dump a woman - i was not on the same path as her - that's unfortunate - but that's how it should work if you want a sane relationship.

Ps: concerning why people are always attracted to what they can't have - i don't know -i guess it's human's nature.

[Gorecore]

My job interview went pretty well today! I really didn't consider it an interview. It was me and 9 others in a conference room with a regional manager blabbing on for 2 hours about the company. The only parts I really paid attention to was the money to be made there!

Just to give you an example...

Say I have 20 prospective clients to visit in a one week period. 5 day work week, so that equals 4 clients a day. An hour to an hour and a half per visit/presentation. Even if I only sign up half, or 10 of those clients in a week, my weekly paycheck would be $3,025.00.

If for some reason, I have really, really bad luck and none of the 20 clients I visited wanted to sign up, I still earn between 550 and 700 dollars a week!!

The only drawback I see so far is that I need a vehicle for this job. I guess most of the work involves me visiting people at their homes, presenting the facts of the insurance policy that they're interested in, and signing them up. And the cool thing is, it's not just going door to door speaking with random strangers. They're all unionized workers who have sent in a request to be visited by one of the agents to explain things to them.

I'm supposed to hear if I get a final interview either Friday or Monday. I know I can do this job and do it well! I just hope they take a chance on me...the car-less me...and I can finally work at a 'career' instead of some shitty ass job. With the kind of earning potential there, I could have much less financial worry and stress in my life.

[(weedguru)scarf]

That sounds like a great deal man.... best of luck... i have my fingers crossed for you

[weedguru_waffles]

woman, complaining about men being complicated? that's rich...

lol heyyy I think I have the right to do so!

[Gorecore]

After doing 2 hours of research on the company I was interviewed for, I'm becoming more and more discouraged. It seemed like for every positive story I read, I read 7 or 8 negative stories.

I got a call-back for a final interview tomorrow, which I am going to attend. I also prepared a list of questions to ask to see if I get a straight answer out of them. Here are just SOME of the negatives I have found out and want to confirm:

-The training process is 6 weeks long and you are NOT paid for training!

-You have to pay the company up to $700 for administrative fees and for the resources to study to try to obtain your insurance license. That $700 does not include the $460 you have to pay to obtain your insurance license...plus an additional $350 to hold onto that license for 3 years.

-The leads you are given (or have to work for, not sure) can sometimes be 5 to 8 years old and have rejected the numerous attempts to be sold insurance through the company.

-The leads are also duped into having someone like me come to their house to sell them insurance. The dupe is that they are told to fill out and mail in a card to get a 1 year free Accidental Death and Dismemberment insurance policy...or some other thing about keeping your children safe. A scam, if you ask me, to get your foot in the door.

-More travel is involved than I was told. You aren't reimbursed for mileage or gasoline or any repairs on your vehicle. And if you have to spend time in a hotel/motel, you have to pay for your own room, food, etc...and never get that money back...it's all out of pocket.

-I read that this company has a team of "Human Resource" people who are nothing more than recruiters who get paid per person that they hire.

-I also learned that you only make money with commissions. I was told that even if you don't make a single commission all week that you'll be paid $500-$700. That $500-$700 you are paid is mearly an advance or "draw" on your next commission check. If you continue to not make sales, you're fired.

So, any flighty dreams I had about this job appear to be shattered. Guess I should have known that someone with only a little bit of sales experience couldn't make 3000 bucks a week.

[Mate]

Nature is a dictatorship.
Live in harmony with it's laws - or die.

-Some dude at tv

[weedguru_waffles]

Bullshit baffles brains.
-some agent at work

[Gorecore]

Someone wake me from this nightmare
I've become my darkest fear
-Chris Barnes