Very Confused Bout My Ex

[weedguru_animal]

My advice is to write her a poem. Make sure that it's from the heart. Give it to her at school, along with a single red rose and a mix tape.

it makes me smile, to learn that there are other dangerously romantic men still persisting, as i do so now, only sporadically, with such classicaly beautiful gestures/...I doff my hat to you, Mr Gore.

[andriaSRH]

You forgot to write "no homo" after that smiley

[weedguru_animal]

have no fear, andria...for mr Gore is closer to Old Man Time, than even me, who turns thirty fucking two, tomorrow...he will catch my drift. likely with a well deserved smile...

[zERo~Chronic]

I also have an ex-gf problem, though mine is a little more serious, so i felt this would be a good place to lay it down for some brilliant advice.

So i meet this chick a little over a year ago, we instantly start crushing on eachother and hanging out all the time and start dating a couple months later. Well we fall in love and everything is going great, like too great now that i look back on it, and i thought i had found my perfect girl. Downfall: five months into our relationship we get a house together...which i feel i was kinda forced into but that doesn't matter now. So we soon get bombarded with huge amounts of financial stress (i've been actively seeking a job for over 6 months now, with no success) which of course leads to all kinds of other stress about the stupidest of things and the arguing began. Fastfoward to a month ago, she tells me shes giving up on me after almost 5 months in this house. This completely crushed me because i've basicaly replanned my life around her. So now its been a month apart, for the first couple weeks i was really optomistic about getting back together but since then we have really hit a wall and its pretty obvious now that she wants nothing to do with me (shes starting to treat me really disrespectfully even). Heres where the problem comes in...we still live together. neither one of us could afford to live here without the other so we're pretty much stuck together for now. Not to mention i'm her source of transporation to work and school. Well every day for the past couple weeks has been very difficult to me, especially this last week which i've cried almost every day. thats saying a lot considering i hadn't cried in 7 years before this. It absolutely kills me to have to wake up to the girl of my dreams every day and not be able to kiss her or tell her i love her or sleep together (like actual sleeping, althought i miss the sex too) to the point where i have considered drastic and stupid measures to escape from this hell. I've been having trouble eating and sleeping and have no motivation to do anything, i was previously unaware of the impact depression can have on ones life. So...to get to the point...i need a way to get over her untill we can separate, which probably wont be any time soon (i still have the lease for 6 months). So far my plan is to go downtown and pick up some sluts...but i haven't had the ability to do so yet. What would you guys do?

[AbbyRoad]

this is a very complicated situation to be in my friend.
i really feel for you, i moved to a different city to be with my bf after about 6 months of long distance dating. i had no idea what i was getting into.

basically thats the same thing that happened to you right? dove into things with love in your heart, forgetting to use your head and shit got real. the best you can do is learn from what happened, not not move in with anyone that quickly again.
but that cant help you right now...

my advice for the current situation is stop giving the ex gf rides. let her figure out how to get from work and school herself, public transportation exists for a reason. and it will help give each of you independence, not having that reliance hanging over you.
second you should try to move out, try to find someone to sublease the remaining 6 months of your lease. but of course that only works if you have somewhere else to go...considering the unemployment issue it may not be possible for you. so just keep looking for job. and maybe its time to suck up the pride and eiother get some fast food type job, or like the telemarketing jobs (they are readily available in my area, but the turnover rate is ridiculous) those jobs can help you get back on you steady financial ground while you look for a more permanent job and living arrangement

[weedguru_waffles]

ohh ouch. that's hard man. I just watched two of my friends in a very very similar situation. After they broke up they still lived together for a while... the place was originally his gfs... but he had no place to move to, so he stayed with her for a while, but now he lived back with his parents. Anyways, I think Abby gave some pretty good advise. For sure, let her figure out her own way of getting places (taxi, public transit, carpool, bike... etc etc) I couldn't imagine being in that situation. Must be hard for sure, so if you guys aren't willing to work things out and talk it out, I'd suggest moving out as well. Being apart from someone helps you get over them.... kind of. But yeah.
My rule of thumb is don't rush into things. I mean if everything goes well and things are "meant to be" things will happen on their own... however if you rush into things, you may end up regretting it. However, on another side, you got experience now, and you can learn from it.
But hope all goes well for you! Best of luck dude!

[andriaSRH]

Omg dude...I'm so sorry to hear this is happening to you.

I'm no relationship expert but the only solution that comes to mind is that you have somehow get away from her.

Abby and waffles pretty much said everything I was going to. Although I would kind of be a hypocrite on the 'don't rush into things' part... after 3 months of being in a long distance relationship with my bf, I moved in with him..

Not too sure how picking up skanks is going to help..maybe it's a dude thing. Do whatever feels right and makes you happy..obviously this chick is just going to bring you down, and who would want that in their lives?


Taking bong rips in honor of you, my depressed homie, Zero

[WeedGuru_Flow]

Shit zero that is a bitch of a situation to be in :/

[zERo~Chronic]

Well the ride thing I'm kinda stuck in. We're in the same classes in 3 out of our 4 classes. And as far as taking her to work goes I'm pretty much abliged to since she pays most of the bills right now and pays for most of my gas. I really do want to try and make things work but I just keep failing, I guess I should know when to cut my losses. About the fast food thing abby, I've applied at every single fast food place in my city, I'm seriously job fucked for some reason. But theres a huge shipyard that just got a big warship contract so I might be able to get an apprenticeship there, that would rock.

For the moving out part, I can move back in with my parents but I'm not going to leave her here alone without a roommate because she couldn't afford it, and I don't want to get sued. So I'm trying to get her to find a roommate, someone that I could trust, so they can finish my lease.

Well for now I guess I'm just stuck in barely-survivable misery. Thanks for all the advice guys

[WeedGuru_Flow]

Hang in there man.

Applying for a job is all about selling yourself, I'm pretty good at it (Got five interviews in my life so far, got accepted the same day on most occasions and got five jobs) so maybe practice for yourself ?

The thing is to stay relaxed,show them that you are comfortable and don't give them the joy of showing you are nervous, show confidence and even if you don't know the job 100% let them know that you will make up for it by learning hard and fast.

As far as the woman goes, the best and fastest way out is by finding a job and splitting.

From the sound of it that woman was only out for money, since you don't have what she wants she's dissing you, kind of sad but that's what capitalism does for ya!

So don't panic, cry your eyes out - nothing to be ashamed of, crying can release a lot of tension - maybe start running to get some of that extra frustration out of your system but most of all keep your eyes on the prize and realize that you can get just about any job purely by showing confidence during your job interviews.

Hang in there buddy, there's always a silver lining!!!

[zERo~Chronic]

A little update for those who care. I found out yesterday that she is now dating someone else, so I've decided to move out in a few weeks and she can fend for herself, because I'm not going to watch my ex with another man, I'm not strong enough for that. Things should be making a turn for the better once I can make that happen

[andriaSRH]

Oh wow. What an ungrateful bitch.

Hopefully after you leave she will realize what an amazing guy you are ...it will eat away at her and drive her crazy

[logically]

A little update for those who care. I found out yesterday that she is now dating someone else, so I've decided to move out in a few weeks and she can fend for herself, because I'm not going to watch my ex with another man, I'm not strong enough for that. Things should be making a turn for the better once I can make that happen

definitely move out.

asap.

no man should have to deal with that kind of shit. maybe her new man can take care of her bills and shit.

[WeedGuru_Flow]

Aye, get the hell out and cut all ties with that woman!

[(weedguru)scarf]

yep i agree with all of the above...

get the fuck out...