Parental Responsibility

[andriaSRH]

^ You shouldn't leave up to the school system man. Weren't you the one who was going to have a talk with one of your kids about weed or whatever? How did they go?

I didn't mean that you should leave it up to the school system. I guess I should have elaborated a bit more..I meant that just to give the guy an idea about the appropriate age to have the discussion. Schools do it at 12 so right around that age is good is what I meant.

But then again in some cases you might need to give the speech sooner...some kids start real young nowadays. It would depend on each individual kid, the environment, maturity, lifestyle etc.

O, I getcha.

If I had to put a number on it when the right time is to have the talk... I would definately say 11 or 12. I of course, I know nothing about being a parent...but to me, that age is like..them not being kids anymore but not yet being teenagers.

And I totally agree...it's also depends on the circumstances the kids lives in.

So really..the only age appropriate for "the talk" is the age when the parents enternally know it's time.

[Weedguru_Fire_Inside]

as soon as my child (if i have one) knows the difference between moral right and wrong, i'll teach him/her all i can about the world.

[SToNeR ChRiS]

as soon as my child (if i have one) knows the difference between moral right and wrong, i'll teach him/her all i can about the world.

I think that's a very important point that goes along with my perspective on the topic. Every child is different and I would not necessarily deem having a "drug talk" with every 11 or 12 year old as a positive move. There are many kids out there who will purposely look to do whatever their parents tell them not to do, so in some cases I believe that ignorance is bliss. Everyone seems to be making the assumption that kids will be out there doing drugs without their parents noticing. I can tell you one thing from my experience, parents know a lot more about their children than they give them credit for. As a result, I would likely give my child the "drug talk" once I noticed they were indeed entering a phase where drugs were being consumed... because I WOULD notice. I understand that most people may think that this would be too late, however it is indeed very likely that marijuana would be the first illicit drug that my child would take... so it would not be the end of the world. On the other hand, I do not feel the need to infect my child's mind about drugs, should they never even consider taking them. Even when it comes to marijuana, I will not forbid its consumption, but I will not glorify it either. A large percentage of society's children do not ever take any drugs... and I am quite certain that in many of those cases, it was the child who made up their own minds themselves, not a lecture from a parent painting whatever portrait they were attempting to engrave in their child's head. I do not plan on having any type of drug talk with my child (when I have one) at any point, whether it be the positive benefits of marijuana or the detrimental effects of other drugs, until I see fit otherwise. Sex talks on the other hand will likely happen.

[AbbyRoad]

my parents decided to have the drug talk with me when i was like 16 or 17.
by than i had already been smoking weed for 2 years and had done LOTS of experimenting with other substances.

basically they started the convo by asking if i had already smoked weed....they knew because like id come home with the munchies and pig out at midnight and theyd find the evidence in the morning. the third separate occasion my mom asking me if i smoked weed ever (always right before she dropped me off at a party or a punk show) i admitted it. from that point on everything was cool with weed, my parents knew i was already an "adult" and id do what i wanted regardless of what they said. soon my step dad admitted he smoked (ALOT), and i never had to hide the fact that i blazed again. i just kept HOW MUCH i smoked on the downlow, but when i went to college and they learned i was a hardcore this is all a lie they didnt even care.

but the other drugs i did and sometimes still do...i keep a secret from them.
i am damn good at keeping secrets. like they would have never knew i even blazed if i hadnt left dirty dishes and empty food boxed everywhere at night.
everything else i straight up lied about. lets be honest here...i was a compulsive liar when it came to what i was doing. i was never where i said i was, never with the people i said i was. never stayed the night where i said i was going to. i would tell my parents exactly what they wanted to hear when it came to my plans for the night, and then just do whatever the hell i wanted.
and believe me some of the shit i did was not safe in the slightest. like honestly im prolly really lucky to be alive and healthy. i could have died or been raped.

but when shite started to get REALLY BAD, for me and my friends. like our oxy habit wasnt really enough anymore to fuck us up and people started smoking crack
(i never did!) and getting expelled from school. basically everything was going to SHITE for everyone i knew...i looked at my parents. and how they had NO IDEA what i was into. and how it would totally fuck up my mom if she knew what was happening. so i stopped all that trash and STRAIGHTENED UP.

my mom has no idea that she saved me from fucking up the beginning of my adulthood, years later i got an anchor mom tattoo to represent how she was my rock and stopped me from going to far astray.

this post is longer than i planned on, and i totally lost the point somewhere along the way...i dont even think it even belongs in this thread anymore

i think my point was even if you think everything is alright with your kids, they could be leading whole other lives. and if they are good enough at it, youll never know.

[Weedguru Higher]

I was watching the new show on A&E last night called 'Beyond Scared Straight' . It's a program for troubled kids, who visit a prison and the inmates with the intent of scaring them straight. Pretty damn good show.

But what marked me watching that show was seeing a 12 year old girl named Cecilia who was doing drugs, shoplifting, running away and the works.

My daughter is 12 so it hit home. Just goes to prove what I said earlier about how different kids can be so different...My 12 year old is still a baby compared to the girl I saw in that show. She needed the speech long before my kid needed it, but it's mostly cause of circumstances and lifestyle. Her biological mother was an inmate at the prison her daugther visited....she had a shitty rough and tough life far different from my kid.

It depends on the kid....use your parental instincts and you will know when the time is right if you are truely a caring parent

[Weedguru_Fire_Inside]

I figure that my kid is going to see the effects of cannabis and learn exactly how to use it, before any of the ages stated, purely through my use of it.

[Weedguru Higher]

I figure that my kid is going to see the effects of cannabis and learn exactly how to use it, before any of the ages stated, purely through my use of it.

Your kids should not know that you use because you should in no way whatsoever expose them to it

[blackxs]

I figure that my kid is going to see the effects of cannabis and learn exactly how to use it, before any of the ages stated, purely through my use of it.

Your kids should not know that you use because you should in no way whatsoever expose them to it

+1
Smoking in front of your kids is stupid

It tells them drugs are ok and at this age a drug is a drug, weed or meth, all the same
and whats worse, it tells them laws are ok to break

Smoking in front of your kids is a terrible, terrible idea, unless you want them to smoke at an ABSURDLY young age and start venturing into other drugs soon after.

I thought you were smarter than that

[Weedguru_Fire_Inside]

I'ma have to admit that i'm wrong on this one. I'd like to state that i am "smarter than that" and would try to shield my kids from exposure to drugs. I didn't think properly before posting that.

Higher, do your kids know about your cannabis use? If not, what have your experiences shielding them from it been like.

[AbbyRoad]

parents can successfully hide anything from there kids.... if they try hard enough that is

case in point. my step dad being an ex-convict and enormous pothead, didnt know it for nearly 10 yrs.
they waited til they thought i was an adult to tell me those things....the sad part is i should have known long before, so many things that cpnfused the hell outta me growing up would have made sense.

[blackxs]

parents can successfully hide anything from there kids.... if they try hard enough that is

case in point. my step dad being an ex-convict and enormous pothead, didnt know it for nearly 10 yrs.
they waited til they thought i was an adult to tell me those things....the sad part is i should have known long before, so many things that cpnfused the hell outta me growing up would have made sense.

Better to be confused than to know your parent was a convict... at least IMHO, they did the right thing. But to be fair its way easier for your parents to hide a SECRET versus an actual physical thing such as smoking that can make the house stink.

It should be FAIRLY easy to hide from your kids. Dont smoke too often (obviously). Smoke only in 1-2 spots in the house. If your master bathroom has a window, I would use that room to smoke in. Lock the main bedroom door so if the kids knock you can wash a bit ,close the bathroom and come out smelling fresh and your entire bedroom wont smell, just the bathroom. Other than that smoke in your backyard if possible and wherever is safe. I would try not to smoke anywhere in the house except your PRIVATE area (bathroom) at least while the kids are awake. Once they go to bed I wouldnt be as afraid to just light up a j sitting on my bed, but still be careful with it.

I would also get in a habit of burning incense, do it often - even when your not smoking, so your kid does not get suspicious when they smell the incense. If you only light incense after they go to bed and whatnot, they might be curious. Kids are pretty smart about that stuff, they are observant little creatures.

[(weedguru)scarf]

To start off... this is a wicked thread with a lot of interesting and informative perspectives.

personally i agree that 23 is too young to begin raising a child, however i have seen younger parents do a fucking stand up job, and it really all depends on the situation and people involved. There are always positives and negetives to raising children at a young age.... for example, you are young and still learning yourself, bound to make many more mistakes which may influence your childs life, but a postive is that if you do it right you can be a much better role model to your child, as you are closer to age and more "in touch" with them....so it can swing both ways in my opinion.


I agree with hiding your own recreational drug use from your children. As someone mentioned... to a child a drug is a drug and there is no discernible difference between drugs. My parents knew i smoked, and were always reasonably cautious, about approaching the subject, but i think that as they saw me continue to maintain the same healthy lifestyle, they began to relax, and by the time i was 19 or so, after a number of years of smoking weed, they were pretty comfortable with it. Once again this is all based on a case to case scenario... their cautious watchful approach worked for me, they didnt need to intervene too much, and realised that i knew what i was doing... sure i made a few mistakes... but live and learn.... they were always around for me when i needed.... If they noticed i had been going off the rails , like my sister did, they would step in and make a stand (which they did for her).

Having the "talk".... its going to be a judgement thing like higher said... is your kid completely focused on sport, etc, and is living a healthy happy life at 12?! then maybe the talk can wait... is your kid hanging out with hood rats and running amok? then maybe the talk needs to happen at 11 or 12? who knows? its hard to answer without knowing you and your family personally...

If anything... i think the vaired responses in this thread illustrate my point, that

RAISING A CHILD IS AN ART, NOT A SCIENCE

[Weedguru Higher]

I'ma have to admit that i'm wrong on this one. I'd like to state that i am "smarter than that" and would try to shield my kids from exposure to drugs. I didn't think properly before posting that.

Higher, do your kids know about your cannabis use? If not, what have your experiences shielding them from it been like.

No, they don't know . I just don't leave things laying around and either smoke outside or when then are not there. Never, ever in their presence. It's really not that hard.

[blackxs]

Schools teaching kids isnt the worst way to do things. Most young kids trust the school system and believe their teachers, IF - and this is a big IF for me, but IF my kids were to be taught about drugs at school then 12 is about the perfect age. They are about to be at that age where they start exploring their own mind and selves, they are only a few years from getting a car ad the extreme freedom associated with that, and they are still very impressionable. Teaching them realistic truths about drugs - IE not a blanket statement that "all drugs are bad," but rather telling the EFFECTS of drugs, can be an efficient supplemental drug education to a parent teaching their own kid. With my kids I will simply ask them what they learned in their drug class, tell them whats true, clarify certain aspects, and tell them my stance on certain drugs. I want my kid to know the difference between fun or "soft" drugs that can be enjoyed responsibly, and hard drugs that take lives. I dont want my kid to be straightedge, I want them to think for themselves and make their own rational decisions on why not to do certain drugs. Im not going to just say DONT DO DRUGS. Kids dont listen to that. Im going to tell them the dangers and as they get older and maybe start trying drugs I will tell them stories about methheads I have known, to hopefully keep them from wanting to go down that route.

edit: but im not gonna lie when my kid is really young I wont SMOKE in front of him but I think getting super super baked will help me enjoy playing blocks or legos with my kid

[Weedguru Higher]

edit: but im not gonna lie when my kid is really young I wont SMOKE in front of him but I think getting super super baked will help me enjoy playing blocks or legos with my kid

Hehe, have you seen the Lego thread recently?