Childhood myths

Gorecore · Post by **Gorecore** » Wed Feb 17, 2010 12:33 am

- I kept barking like a dog one day and my uncle told me the dog catcher would take me away to the pound if I didn't stop. I stopped right away.

- I thought a blowjob meant getting warm air blown on your dick. So I rolled up a magazine and proceeded to 'blow' myself...but it just didn't feel right somehow. I stopped doing that too.

- I read in a Charlie Brown comic that dragonflies sew your lips shut. I thought it was real. Spiders spin webs and bees have needles on their bums. I thought dragonflies were evil, mutated bee/spiders.

- I knew you laid on top of a woman to have sex, but I thought the vaginal opening was directly in front, much like a bellybutton...just a pelvis with a hole.

- New sneakers meant I could run faster than before with my old, crappy sneakers.

pkkupo · Post by **pkkupo** » Wed Feb 17, 2010 2:59 am

Gorecore wrote:- I thought a blowjob meant getting warm air blown on your dick. So I rolled up a magazine and proceeded to 'blow' myself...but it just didn't feel right somehow. I stopped doing that too.

You're giving me way too much material to put in the quotes thread man....oh also, lol.

Gorecore wrote:I knew you laid on top of a woman to have sex, but I thought the vaginal opening was directly in front, much like a bellybutton...just a pelvis with a hole.

Dude me too. For a while I actually though "having sex" was just a man and a woman rolling around in bed naked while kissing.

Liles · Post by **Liles** » Wed Feb 17, 2010 3:06 am

Thanks to my preschool PE teacher I learnt pretty early on...

captainMorton · Post by **captainMorton** » Wed Feb 17, 2010 3:08 am

i thought that all masturbation was good for was for getting snake venom out or something like that, lol

Bubbles · Post by **Bubbles** » Wed Feb 17, 2010 3:18 am

am i like the only one who didnt think about their unit as a child?

Jetasis · Post by **Jetasis** » Wed Feb 17, 2010 4:48 am

flyinhigh wrote:am i like the only one who didnt think about their unit as a child?

Yes. =D

Post by **Weedguru_Falkon** » Wed Feb 17, 2010 5:09 am

Liles wrote:Thanks to my preschool PE teacher I learnt pretty early on...

...

Gorecore · Post by **Gorecore** » Wed Feb 17, 2010 9:46 am

I heard this quote from a TV show called Mr. Belvedere where the kid in the show said a teacher called him "A freak of nature." and I thought it was a good thing. When I was 9, I told my mother that my gym teacher said I was a freak of nature. She asked me to repeat it to my father, and she had one hand on the telephone receiver, and one hand curled into a fist. I panicked and said I was only kidding and I heard it on TV.

Post by **Weedguru Higher** » Wed Feb 17, 2010 12:27 pm

^ Mr.Belvedere!!Ha, I had sooo forgotten about him!

If you swallow your bubble gum, your body can’t digest it and it sticks in your stomach for 7 years and will show up on xrays. I don't think I felt comfortable swallowing gum until I was in my 20’s.

Post by **wgToonces** » Thu Feb 18, 2010 6:34 pm

^I used to believe the exact same thing...

Bubbles · Post by **Bubbles** » Fri Feb 19, 2010 2:01 am

people always told me that thing about gum but i never believed it

Post by **Weedguru Higher** » Fri Feb 19, 2010 2:37 am

flyinhigh wrote:people always told me that thing about gum but i never believed it

Yet you believed this...

flyinhigh wrote:i also used to think that i was the single strongest person ever

Weird kid...

pkkupo · Post by **pkkupo** » Fri Feb 19, 2010 4:05 pm

In my early days of youth I once stood at the top of the stairs, voiced a short soliloquy about my own uniqueness, then proclaimed "Hey! I can fly, Watch!" Needless to say I jumped face first onto the middle of the staircase and tumbled to the bottom. I assumed I would be hurt quite bad when I got to the bottom so I started to cry, but then ceased to do so once I realized i was not in any pain. Not a bruise or scratch on me. It was quite strange. One of the few memories I have from early childhood.

Bubbles · Post by **Bubbles** » Fri Feb 19, 2010 4:52 pm

Weedguru Higher wrote:
flyinhigh wrote:people always told me that thing about gum but i never believed it
Yet you believed this...

flyinhigh wrote:i also used to think that i was the single strongest person ever
Weird kid...

fuck off every 4 yearold thought they were strong as hell

logically · Post by **logically** » Fri Feb 19, 2010 5:31 pm

Gorecore wrote: - New sneakers meant I could run faster than before with my old, crappy sneakers.

i believed that same exact thing! When i got new shoes i was like sonic the hedgehog man

I also really truly believed if i ate lots of mushrooms i would get bigger like mario. Mushrooms were (and still are) one of my favorite things to eat.

I thought if i threw my ball too high in the air it would get up to the no gravity zone and wouldn't come back down.

When i was 6 or so i tried to open my own detective service. I thought i was a super sleuth to say the least. I made business cards on our ancient family computer and everything... i never got any cases though... i wonder why?

I remeber once we ordered pizza and when the guy came to the door i gave him one of cards and told him if he ever needed help finding anything to call me

www.weedguru.com

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