i need boyfriend advice

AbbyRoad · Post by **AbbyRoad** » Thu Apr 26, 2007 4:03 am

ok so my bf of 4 months and i recently split up. then got back together like the next day. but under certain conditions and understandings.
the problem that made us split was he didnt have enought time for me. he kept tellign me he had to much school work and we couldnt see each other. and i kept telling him i didnt care he had to make time for me. i wasnt understanding how serious he was, so we broke up online when he said he wanted to talk in person the next day but i made him talk to me right away. so the next day after i had been crying for about 5 hours straight and got baked to kill all crying feeling. i called him and went over to talk in person. we talked for a good 2 hours. he explained how it wasnt fair to me that he couldnt devote tme to me but he still had feelign for me and wanted to go on a break at least until school was over. which is about 2 months and i cant wait that long. so i told him i could accept that he could only see me like once a week and not keep asking for more time together when i know he cant give it to me, and that i really loved him and wanted things not to end this way just because all the other areas of his life was very busy.so we decided to give it a try and stay together. but like kind of start over. act like were just starting to see each other. go on dates and such when he could afford the time. he even said we shouldnt sleep together for a while. and just work our way back up to that. now i know for in order for this to work he had to be completely honest about his feeling. i know i want to be with him and i am prepared to make sacrifices and lower my needs. but i need to be sure that he really wants to be with me, because if he doesnt then we really do need to end it. even tho it will hurt alot. he told me he doesnt want to hurt me and has apologized for being such a bad bf. if i didnt want him so bad id see other guys. but as it stands right now if a guy takes interest in me at a show or something and asks for my number im giving it to him.
so thats everything i think. pretty long once i type it out, and i was just hoping you guys could give me your thoughts and be honest guys. i can take tough love

President Beavis · Post by **President Beavis** » Thu Apr 26, 2007 4:11 am

Sometimes things just can't go your way no matter how badly you want them to, your relationship with this guy could be one of them. Just ride it out for a little while to see if he keeps his word, if it goes good then that's great. If not, well you've gotta be prepared for the worst.

Hope it works out.

weedguru+chrisisonfire · Thu Apr 26, 2007 5:09 am

Exactly what beave said.

but let me tell you this..

there is no WAY in hell that he has too much "school work". Abby, i care bout you and ill tell you this. Me and my gf spend EVERY night together baking. And she goes to college in Child and Youth Work and im at the University of Ottawa studying political science. And we pass with flying colours. If you organize your time to see eachother, it should be easy. Is there a devotion problem, i dont know. You guys need to talk it out, he SHOULD have more time for you..like wtf...a girlfriend should be attended to. I think youre both old enough to know that.

RIght?

Good luck

Post by **(weedguru)scarf** » Thu Apr 26, 2007 2:06 pm

chris... abby...

i have the same problem with my girlfriend... she studies fashion at university
i study at university... and work... and play ball... and coach.... and play football...
it can get very very difficult...

he sounds like he does want to be with u... but maybe it will take some time...
take it slow but keep your expectations low for the moment... if it doesnt improve
then move on!!! good luck abby

MatteN · Post by **MatteN** » Thu Apr 26, 2007 6:55 pm

wow this shit hurts just reading it, bad memories for me

hope it ends up better than mine did

Turnipweed13 · Post by **Turnipweed13** » Fri Apr 27, 2007 3:24 am

fuck your lucky to have a partner. but really good luck and i hope everything works out for the best
everything should fall into place when he starts freeing himself up.
ok this might sound like a complete douch bag thing to say but i had a gf that said that she was having a lot of trouble with school and stuff and it ended up she was cheating on me. i'm not saying that is what is going on with you two.. but just a thought. i'm sorry for that just had to say it.. but i am not trying to fill your mind w/ the smallest bit of cheating theory. good luck.

captainMorton · Post by **captainMorton** » Fri Apr 27, 2007 4:20 am

if hes saying that he will stop sex so he can spen what time you guys do have together having fun(i know sex is fun but you guys get me) then chances are he really does care about you, and you should stick by him.

and it really seems like open season for relationship problems

Jay212 · Post by **Jay212** » Fri Apr 27, 2007 5:06 am

yup. I have 2 friends who r goin out, one used to be in college(just graduated a few weeks ago) and the guy was always trying to avoid his girlfriend(the one who was going to college and working). So conclusion is, he's just trying to get out of it. I might be wrong though, I'm just looking at it how I personally have seen this type of shit.

Ziggy · Post by **Ziggy** » Fri Apr 27, 2007 10:22 am

Thats kind of the reason my ex-gf and i recently broke up for. I live in waterloo and she lives in toronto. (approx. 1.5 hour drive away). She was complaining that i didnt make as much time for her as i use to. Yeah maybe not but at this time i was writing non stop essays for my 6 courses. The thing is she always thought i should be the one to make time for her and always be the one to come see her, she never reciprocated (i think thats how you spell it) and tried to come see me or make time for me. So since i was coming to see her only once in a while, she thought that should be more, even though she was making no effort to come and see me.

sorry, cant really help you out with your problem abby, i WAS in the same situation (more or less) and it went the other way.

captainMorton · Post by **captainMorton** » Fri Apr 27, 2007 5:09 pm

always sucks to lose sombody because of distance and work, but it cant be helped sometimes, just got to go with the flow sometimes

Dank · Post by **Dank** » Sun Apr 29, 2007 4:30 am

You guys are doing right, if you really like each other. Hitting a bump DOES NOT mean that you HAVE GOT to split up. Just back up a bit and take it a few notches down and work your way back up to the place you were in, TOGETHER. Go through all the activities you went through in your last "pleasant" stage of dating.

AbbyRoad · Post by **AbbyRoad** » Mon Apr 30, 2007 4:56 am

i have an update. i wrote it out once. it was hella long. then it got deleted. ill write it out for you guys later. but safe to say it is fucked up

Post by **(weedguru)scarf** » Mon Apr 30, 2007 12:13 pm

blazedsubaru · Post by **blazedsubaru** » Mon Apr 30, 2007 12:44 pm

I'm sorry Abby.
If you lived close I would come out and smoke a bowl with you.

AbbyRoad · Post by **AbbyRoad** » Mon Apr 30, 2007 1:51 pm

ok so adam(his name is adam) and i had another talk. he told me he wasnt completely honest with me during our first talk. he said he was telign the truth about his time limitation but there was one other thing he couldnt say then and he had to tell me. there is another girl, named annemarie. he said he wasnt cheating on me with her, they just work togther and like each other. shes kind of his ex gf, they dated for like a week then he went out of town to visit his grandparents came back and she was dating someother guy. a few weeks after that we started dating. but apparently now she has feelings for him and has made it clear. he says he has feelings for her and me. and he doest know what to do. so we talked for a long time. he said he would not like to be in a relationship with either one of us. but would like to "date" like go to the movies and shit with both of us. the real crazy part IS I AGREED TO THIS. telling him that my mind could change at any time and id want to end it, and that im going to date other ppl as well. i even have a-get-to-know-you-shesh with this guy matt that my friend danielle has been trying to hook me up with before i started dating adam. but during our talk i kept asking him ie was sure eh had feelings for me and if he didnt want to just plain break up and start seeing her. he kept telling me he had feelings for me and wanted to continue seeing me. that i was one of the best ppl to be around(this is where i would think then why do u wnat someone else?) and that i was such a beautiful person. he even tried to explain to me that im like one of his best friends and youd want to marry someone like that..but i couldnt really follow this train of thought when he started talking about husbands and wives. i asked him if he was hoping that id break up with him ater we talked because it would have made things easier,and he said no he hadnt wished i dumped him. but i did tell him if he had told me about annemarie during our first talk i would have dumped him. he asked me what had changed. i told him i didnt love him anymore like i had and wasnt sure if i loved him at all to start with, now i just wanted him. and thats why i was going to stay with him even tho his head is fucked up and he is hurting me. because i still want him. but i want him to want only me. he hasnt talked to annemarie since weve talked. and im sure adam and i will have to have another long talk after they have talked. im not even sure if she will wnat to share him. if i was her i wouldnt. if she says no to this arrangment he said he and i will just continue dating but still not have a "relationship" like weve had for 4 months now. again to his lack of time, he doesnt have enough time to go on dates with 2 diff girls. so he said he would only date me during may but when school was over in june hed start dating her aswell. would she want to wait that long to start dating? i dont know... what if she says ok to him seign both of us but only if she is the one he sees in may. then i guess he and i will break up or he will just date me. i dont know. still waiting to see how things will turn out. thats all i can fucking do. wait til they talk and then wait and see if this arrangement will work. but its really not healthy for me at least. and i know this. but im to fucking stupid to just leave him. i want him to badly and he makes me to happy even when he is making me cry. i cryed so much during our talk. he just held me and told em it hurt him to see me so sad. and he kept saying i was prettier when im happy and holding my hand. it wa so painful. maybe i do love him if im willing to hurt so much to stay with him. i dont know. i dont know so much. life sucks. its to fucking hard. i hate guys
there is one thing that kind of makes me happy. he cant smoke weed anymore. he said all he does is obsess over all this shit runnign through his head and has a hrrible buzz. im glad. when i smoke weed it make me feel better about al this. it makes me care less and want less.
god guys my life is such a mess. and im a fucking idoit.
any suggestions or comfort? or you can just tell me how much of a moron i am.

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i need boyfriend advice

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