I'm losin' my grip

Viewer_Discretion · Post by **Viewer_Discretion** » Mon Jan 22, 2007 8:41 pm

I'm really really sick of everyone (not you guys) asking me what's going on with stephen.(my ex)
He cheated on me okay. We had been going out for like 3 years. He lied okay. He says he was only with her for about a month but I know it's more. A year I was told. Does she even know? poor girl. I know what it's like. I wish I could talk to her. I'm sure she would be broke too. More then likely she hates me because somehow this is my fault.

He hasn't spoken to me. I am to believe this is my fault he told me it was. I wasn't showing I cared? I didn't fuck him enough? I'm not sure. But he lied to my face more then once and then again. He told me he valued my friendship but I don't hear from him now. Yes I cry. It hurts because I see people seeing me as a bad person. They don't believe me. They don't seem to see that it hurts me. I can honestly say I was shocked. I still am. I don't know what to do. The one thing I fear the most..Is happening, I am alone.

People come up to me and ask, I have repeated this story time and time again. I have people messaging me asking me is it true. Yes it's true. It hurts, i'm sorry if you think i knew about this, I didn't I Really had no idea. I believed him Every lie i thought was truth. So I am sorry okay. I'm sorry that your friend is hurt if she knows that is. To think that it was a game to me is harsh. I had no idea, I didn't know it was fake. To me it was very serious. I don't need people coming up to me and questioning if i'm telling the truth, what would i get out of lying? I'm not trying to take him away from her, I have no intention of being hurt again. I just need to be. I need to continue and get my life together, Yes it kills me. I loved him. Truth. So why would I lie? What could i gain from lying?

I'm starting to think the Guys and me just don't work out. I may do better off with a girl. It's seems Avril's songs fit me perfect.

Losing Grip

Are you aware of what you make me feel, baby?
Right now I feel invisible to you, like I'm not real
Didn't you feel me lock my arms around you?
Why'd you turn away?
Here's what I have to say...

I was left to cry there, waiting outside there
Grinnin' with a lost stare,
That's when I decided...

Why should I care?
'Cause you weren't there when I was scared
I was so alone...
You, you need to listen!
I'm startin' to trip,
I'm losin' my grip
And I'm in this thing alone...

Am I just some chick you placed beside you,
To take somebody's place?
When you turn around can you recognize my face?
You used to love me, you used to hug me
But that wasn't the case,
Everything wasn't okay

I was left to cry there
Waiting outside there
Grinnin' with lost stare
thats when i decided...

Why should I care?
'Cause you weren't there when I was scared,
I was so alone
You need to listen
I'm startin' to trip
I'm losin' my grip
And I'm in this thing alone

Cryin' out loud
I'm cryin' out loud
Cryin' out loud
I'm cryin' out loud

Open your eyes
Open up wide

Why should I care?
'Cause you weren't there when I was scared,
I was so alone
Why should I care?
'Cause you weren't there when I was scared
I was so alone
Why should I care?
If you don't care, then I don't care
We're not going anywhere
Why should I care?
'Cause you weren't there when I was scared
I was so alone
Why should I care?
If you don't care, then I don't care
We're not going anywhere

So what do I do now? I skiped my english exam I havn't been to school in weeks. I cry and suffer depression and now I have lost the person whom I had trusted the very very most. The pain of being lied to by the person you trusted most is insane. Love is painfull. I'm rolling down hill and there isn't any stoping. In one day I had tryed coke and acid. smoke way too much weed, lay in my own filth for 3 days and smoked cigs.

I am compleatly lost, I feel so horrible i have thought and started to plan my own death. I really should'nt do that. so i try and be positive and keep away from negative things.

Jim777 · Post by **Jim777** » Mon Jan 22, 2007 10:09 pm

i just readed the last part of your story and u shouldnt fuck up your life like that just for someone, i know he was everything for you but u just making things worst doing that shit, go live your life and sooner or later things will be fine and u wont care about him

Certified-Nutter · Post by **Certified-Nutter** » Mon Jan 22, 2007 10:10 pm

well... what can i say?
ur only 18, u got tha rest of ur life to find someone ye can really trust, that guy was obviously an asshole, n ur on the receivin end of his shit.
ye people may give u bad looks n stuff, but u kno the truth, n if their gonna b so ignorant of ur feelins, fuck em, they're not friends they dunt matter (at least way i try to think)
just try n stick it thru, ya'll see happier days again

Dakine · Post by **Dakine** » Mon Jan 22, 2007 10:18 pm

yeah, fuck what other people think. they got no right to know what happened. as for your ex, don;t be so hasty to cut away your life for a cheater, because he isnt worth it.

Mate · Post by **Mate** » Mon Jan 22, 2007 11:03 pm

don't ruin your life cause of someone else.
get back to school, or any social background
and talk with people(Friends) to keep mind clear.

MatteN · Post by **MatteN** » Mon Jan 22, 2007 11:42 pm

that guy is a complete asshole and that's all there is to it. you know your worth so much more and can do so much better than him, you have your whole life to find the perfect match for u so don't worry

there's over 4 BILLION men on this planet, you'll find 1 that fits you

good luck and don't let it get to u when people do ignorant shit to u, they don't matter and they have no life if they care so much

hashpipe · Post by **hashpipe** » Mon Jan 22, 2007 11:56 pm

i had a friend who had a depression for about a year, he doing perfect right now and he told me alot.
the way i see it....once you start skipping school, staying home, doing the same things everyday, life gets boring, your only think and start like getting used to thinking and being depressed. you should really try, and try hard to go back to school and live for yourself like others said before me.

and i dont wanna sound like a geezer, but dont look back to crappy things that happened, just work for the future, its way better. and modern and cheaper i hope. peace

ohyes, there a lot of better people around than your ex, just look at all the support from these potheads

buttermilk · Post by **buttermilk** » Tue Jan 23, 2007 12:30 am

hashpipe wrote:ohyes, there a lot of better people around than your ex, just look at all the support from these potheads

I understand that this kinda thing is really hard to get over but you can't spend to much time trying to get over it because it's such a waste of time to sit alone and be sad...
Try to keep your mind on other things and look towards the future instead of drooping in the past...In short, just try to focus on the things most of the guys ahead of me said and try your best to focus on school...
That jackass was probably abused as a kid (at least hopefully) and will end up fuckin' up his entire life...try not to do the same....

Post by **(weedguru)scarf** » Tue Jan 23, 2007 11:51 am

All i have....

hope it helps

Kaynoq · Post by **Kaynoq** » Tue Jan 23, 2007 1:05 pm

i fucked up my life because of a girl once...man, what a mistake that was. im so stupid when it comes to telling the difference between lust and love

Dakine · Post by **Dakine** » Tue Jan 23, 2007 3:11 pm

imagine... wrote:don't ruin your life cause of someone else.
get back to school, or any social background
and talk with people(Friends) to keep mind clear.

weedguru+chrisisonfire · Tue Jan 23, 2007 6:03 pm

Dakine wrote:
imagine... wrote:don't ruin your life cause of someone else.
get back to school, or any social background
and talk with people(Friends) to keep mind clear.

Bear · Post by **Bear** » Tue Jan 23, 2007 7:21 pm

I know exactly how you feel. Its happened to me before with my ex. Its a very slow process of getting over it all. To be honest, I couldnt be friends with her... If you somehow evolved a friendship with him your a much bigger person than i am. What i did was channel my shock into hate... Then somehow after i used all the energy of hate (no one likes to hate forever, its emotionally draining). Then after such self conflict you get this feeling of quiet, calmness (very wierd) and somehow i was able to move on after about... 6 months then i met casey and love eachother ever since.

But anyway, the grass is always greener on the other side... Its just the grass your suppose to be looking at has a big cloud of fog on it and you cant see how green it really is.

Hope this helps

wizz · Post by **wizz** » Tue Jan 23, 2007 8:56 pm

we live on this earth for ourselves, it sucks but its true, and its frustrating to see people get so worked up over another persons fault.. fuck that i would never do that

Bear · Post by **Bear** » Tue Jan 23, 2007 10:01 pm

im afraid your wrong. We dont live for ourselves, we live for love and to basically multiply.

We wouldnt be on the earth without your parents fucking would we? So this earth is not an 'everyman for himself' kinda world its just a multiplying world. You live to multiply and be loved and happy

man i talk shit

www.weedguru.com

I'm losin' my grip

I'm losin' my grip

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