Rock Werchter 2003 Report

[Funk Doctor]

I'll discuss some of the lesser known bands I saw at Werchter festival, so you can all enjoy some fresh new vibes.

Danko Jones: Canadian rocker, with his band named after himself. Beats himself on stage, licks his microphone and dares us to create the biggest pogo circle he ever saw. Excellent show by the way, I came out of the tent with a small cut above my eye and bruises all over my back and legs. Hard rock with blues lyrics. Good if you're into the harder stuff.

Morgan Heritage: Reggea from London, they look EXACTLY like the Yardies from GTA3, only they have dreadlocks and carry instruments instead of guns. They strongly support marijuana smoking on festivals, which the crowd greeted by sticking their joints in the air. AT LEAST 5,000 of 'em. They're real crowdpleasers, making us sing along with almost every song.

Saïan Supa Crew: French hiphop band, they recorded their next video with us as extras, by taking random shots from the crowd with a camera. There's a small possibility that I might be in their next clip, as I was in front of the tent and they shot me at least twice. Their music owns, the whole crowd was nodding along at first, then everybody started jumping and dancing.

[Weedguru Higher]

Werchter must be dutch....what does it mean?? Concert or something?

Wait a sec....do you speak dutch or is it belgian? Is belgian a language?? Or one I just made up?

What is belgium like anyways? Like compared to North America and stuff? I'm curious......

[Funk Doctor]

I'm surprised you don't know about Belgium. We have the biggest mouth-to-size ratio, we've been targets of mocking campaigns by US 'newspapers', any gun-blazing cowboy hates our guts and we have this cute little law that used to allow people to sue anyone for war crimes, until our spineless government kneeled down before the American government and changed it so Americans cant be sued anymore.

Oh yeah, we speak Flemish, which is a lot like Dutch, only less uptight and annoying.

And Rock Werchter is a 4-day festival in Belgium, one of the most renowned in the world, next to Roskilde, Woodstock and Glastonbury.