Funny Hookup Story

[Eugene]

First off, my definition of hook up is basically anything but sex....so here's the story.


I haven't gotten with a girl in a while, dunno, haven't really tried at all. Had a bunch of oppritunities, just wasn't interested or I was high and had other priorities (making food).

For all of my friends' parties, I always run the keg, cause I'm a big dude, I'm usually sober cause I don't like to drink that much, I bounce for my summer job, I'm used to the situation. Anyway, while running the keg, I also meet just about every girl at each of our parties, which is nice. Anyway, the past 3 or 4 parties, this same girl has just stood by me at the keg for the entire night. Not exagerating (fuck that word) at all either, the entire night. So I'm completely sober and she's all over me all night, always talking to her friends right in front of me about how her roomate went home for the weekend etc. etc. So I'm like, I haven't hooked up with a girl in a while, it'll be a one night thing, whatever. Anyway, sorry for being vulgar but this is how it went. I drove her back to her place, she asked me to come in so I did. I had her moaning like a wildabeast for a solid amount of time...and I got nothing in return. THat pissed me off. Wound up falling asleep around 7:30AM, woke up at 10:30 and went back to my room and slept all day. Anyway, I told all my friends about how much of a blue-baller she was, and word definitely got back to her. She obviously wanted to make up for Friday night, so on Saturday night, same shit she stood next to me at the keg the entire night. As the night wound down, I smoked a couple of blunts with some friends and got pretty high. I'm lyin down on the couch with two friends in the room with me watchin TV, and she comes over, sits next to me, and starts making out with the side of my face....I give no response. She then begins to BEG...I'm not blowing this out of proportion at all either, she BEGGED me to go back to her room and have sex with her. I wanted no part of it...at all. Friday was a one night thing, and I did not want to be involved with this girl (big time slut). She begged me for a solid 25 minutes before I got fed up with it and pretended to pass out. She left, and my two friends could not believe it. They actually felt bad for her cause she was so pathetic.

The next day, she tries to cover up getting turned down so hardcore by saying she was completely trashed and doesn't remember anything. COmplete lie becuase I smelled no alcohol on her (she was drinking hard liquor at points in the night), and she wasn't slurring her speech.

I don't know, I figured it would be a funny story to post. Enjoy.

[Dr. Greenthumb]

I really laughed at the part where she was making out with the side of your face. Why didnt you just settle for a BJ?

Most likely now she's going to want you even more than before.

[Eugene]

I only wanted one that night, not really interested in getting one from her anymore. That and I heard she gives bad BJ's, and I don't wanna go anywhere near that pus.

As vulgar as I sound to the ladies on this forum, I'm not a bad guy, I just have no sympathy for sluts.

[Eugene]

Since everyone on here is a stoner you'll appreciate this. After she left when I pretended to pass out, I made some macaroni and a hamburger

[Fisett]

Since everyone on here is a stoner you'll appreciate this. After she left when I pretended to pass out, I made some macaroni and a hamburger

HAHa that was priceless!!

[Dr. Greenthumb]

who needs sex when you have macaroni and hamburgers...lol

[Eugene]

Seriously. It's the best of borth worlds

[Rip721]

Wow, now this is a guy i can respect completely.

Way to turn down a ride on the community bike for some good ol' american mac n' cheese and a tasty hamburger.... better then fish, i say.

[Eugene]

hahahaha, especially when it's tainted fish haha

[weedguru tom]

ahahhaa

[jonny cockeral]

Nearly two months later and the thread is still going, this begs the question, have you shagged her since