a teenagers poem

[Dr.Chronic]

sweet green the nicest plant, take a toke and take a glance. Watch the room spin around fast, and fall straight on your arse and sit down by a blade of grass, now you have finished the task.

Get so desprate for sum food, start calling your mum dude. Grow long hair and start to sway, u'd smoke a joint anyday. Drugs and dealers are all the same just sell it to your m8s and you'll get paid. Become a pimp sell sum sex, end up with a bitch like posh and becks. Sell sum sex, sell sum drugs and realise that everyone is a mug =)

I wrote this on a spread out rizzla pack wen i woz stoned. Not bad for a year 9 in highschool eh? lmao

[Zen]

No that's pretty bad... I think you need to work on your presentation.

Peace~

[Dr.Chronic]

huh so can u write a differnt version of this poem (very similar) that would sound better? If so id be glad to rate it.

[Zen]

Sorry, but I wouldn't take pride in my work if I did that.

It just didn't flow very well and seemed well, more stupid than artistic to say the least.

Not saying you're a bad poet but you just need some work. I'm not telling oyu to stop writing, in fact if you did you would e doing yourself more harm then good cause that means you would be satisfied with this level of work. Keep writing and you'll improve drastically.

Keep it up mate. But I'm sure not everyone is a "mug"...

Peace~

[Dr.Chronic]

"mug" that was the only word that would ryhme at the time lol nufin personal everyone lol