Fireworks Night

[Midnight Toker]

How was it for you? Do anything good? Actually manage to find some fireworks that didn't suck? My night went like this (those of you who do not enjoy my unnecessarily lengthy, utterly pointless monologues would be well advised to look away now)

I pre-drunk at my house for a while before walking down to the local fireworks. They were exactly the same as they have been every year since i was 8 years old, and that combined with my ever increasing age and ever decreasing tolerance for bullshit left me decidedly unimpressed. If i didn't know better i'd swear they scoop up the ash at the end of the fireworks and recycle them the following year. I decide more booze would rectify this mildly painful situation and start on the beers i'd stashed in my jacket (i managed to fit 8 in there, not bad considering it only has 3 pockets, even more impressive considering i had to walk past gang of policemen on the way in)

I wander around for a bit, drink more and talk to random people i haven't seen for ages. I notice the fireworks are getting increasingly loud, and it is therefore difficult for me to be the centre of attention. This upsets me, so i round up a big group of people and we head down to the pub where people could better appreciate my genius.

We get there, i order a pint, halfway through drinking it i become very aware of my need to shed a couple of pounds, so i head to the toilet. There is only one cubicle and i can hear a guy being sick in there. He's in there for like 5 minutes before i lose my patience (and nearly my bowel control) I start banging on the door and yelling shit at him, mostly things like if he's going a be a pussy who can't handle his alcohol, he could at least have the common courtesy to go and throw up in the streets with all the other over-indulgent pre-pubecents. ''Bleugh....fuck....bleugh....you....'' Eventually he's done, and when he opens the door, i'm surprised to be greated by a fairly respectable looking man in his 30s. He gives me a dirty look, but i'm about to shit myself so i ignore that.

I re-enter the pub suitably relieved and sit back down and survey the talent. It is few and far between, so i focus my attention on the older, stunningly attractive blonde sitting opposite me. We talk, she informs me she's 41 and the mother of one of my female friends. This doesn't deter me one little bit. We talk for a while, i make he laugh hysterically and i ask her for her number, but she declines. I ask why not, she says i'm too young for her. I tell her youth comes hand in hand with stamina.

The conversation continues down that road for sometime, and i really thought i was about to get her to give in, then she says those 5 horrible words no man ever wants to hear, ''Have you met my husband?'' Ouch. (I did, however, note that at no point during my half hour or so of courtship did she state having a husband as a reason why she couldn't go out with me. Interesting, but irrelevant) I said we could let him watch, to which she replies ''You're drunk!'' Ya think?! I'm 17 years old, you are the 41 year old mother of my friend, and i have been talking for the past 30 minutes about the earth shattering orgasms i could give you. What was your first clue to my intoxication? I tell her that there are far too many unsolved crimes in the world for her to be wasting her staggering powers or perception analysing my toxicity levels (i figure since her husband is in the room, im not going to get anywhere, so i can start being an arsehole again) I did subsequently try it on with her daughter, but i don't think she was all that impressed that she was my plan B and behind her mother in the pecking order.

So, feeling rejected and drunk, i buy a gram of charlie off my mate and crack into that. (On a side note, did you know that in quite a few clubs in London they put a coat of white spirit on the top of the toilet so that when you try to rack up a line on it, your coke just dissolves? Be careful of that.) I spend the next few hours talking codshit to relative strangers until the pub chucks out. I watch to obligatory end of the night fight, then retire home, where my sister is with her new boyfriend. Turns out he smoke weed and smokes one with me, so he now has the enviable position of being the first boyfriend my sister has bought home that i haven't a) wanted to kill or b) chucked out of the house.

So yeah, that was my night, pretty uneventul. Anyone do anything any good?

[Caro]

Haha, that was a pretty funny story. Why did they have fireworks?

[tweedle]

Me and my Step Uncle got some display fireworks, you know under the counter kind of thing. Fucking massive things and put on a little show for my little brother. then we all snogged, my uncle has a hot dick


They set off fireworks every year on the 5th November because that was the day Guy Faux tried to blow up the House of Commons in London with fireworks.

[Midnight Toker]

Haha, that was a pretty funny story. Why did they have fireworks?

Oh, yeah, i forgot it's just a british thing. It's a day held every year on the 5th of November to commemorate a bloke called Guy Fawkes trying to blow up the Houses of Parliament while there was a meeting going on inside. He got grassed up and caught before he could carry it out and was burnt at the stake for his troubles. Every year people light bonfires and hold fireworks displays to commemorate the narrowly avoided tragedy (if you could call it that, i think the world would be a better place if more people blew up politicians)

[Weedguru Cusmar]

I had to work till after 11pm so all the firework displays had finished. I went back to my mates to shoot some cheap rockets out of a drainpipe. We decided to get stoned before, so we smoked a load of weed and drank some jacky d's till about 3am when we decided to light the rockets.
We each took turns in shooting the rockets over the houses behind his, so they'd explode over the next street. That was pretty fun but we only had 4 rockets . Basically it was a normal saturday night with a short rocket shooting interval.

[astramasta]

haha, good stuff.
i never realised u were as intelligent as u are midnight, for some reasoni see ur posts everywhere but i never remember anything significant that uv posted. until this, and maybe il take more notice in future.
a good read

[astramasta]

oh yeh, and although i had to stay in bonfire night cause of my animals, me and a few mates are meeting up in gainsboro at a buddys house to set of some rockets, while on mexican shrooms (might be pretty cool on shrooms i thought?!) and infinite supply of weed to smoke too....
should be an interesting night wednesday.........

[Weedguru Anex]

I didn't read your story
They seem to have cracked down on all the good fireworks now, after they banned bangers you could still get them taped to sticks with little hats on claiming to be rockets but couldn't even find those anymore. They were more fun, you could blow mud in the air and make stuff fly with them. I shoved a rocket through a toilet roll though which was quite interesting.
I spent the rest of the weekend trying to rescue a kitten that had run away from the hedge over the road from me, I think it had been scared as there was loads of fireworks in my village. Spent 4 hours on saturday night and 3 hrs on sunday in the pouring rain sat in a huge spikey bush trying to get it but everytime I got close it just walked off and it took me 20 mins to catch up. Didn't manage to get it in the end, it was tiny so don't think it will have made it. I had a bed and everything made up for it. I was going to call it stan.

[BUDA]

Had a ride in a Limo..
Went out after got pretty drunk..
then chain smoked 10 joints...
Monged out watchin dumb and dumber Heard some firework that was a bout it..

[GAZ]

Had work till half 6, then after work I met my (female) friend and we went down to campbell park where a big firework display was being held. We got there at about 7 and the fireworks didnt start till 8ish so we went for a walk and got pretty stoned then kriszi (the girl i was with) pulled out a bottle of bacardi and a bottle of smirnoff so we started to get drunk aswell.

Then the fireworks started and we where just lying on the grass together pretty wankered Got pretty cold so we started hugging etc..... and yes one thing led to another....(use imagination here)..........Then we went for a few more spliffs after the fireworks had finished. It got to about 12 by the time everyone had left and we'd finished our weed and alcohol so she went home. was a good night. Hated havin to say by to her though. She lives pretty far away and only comes down 2 or 3 times a year which sucks.