iGod

[Gorecore]

Me:
Hello God
God:
Hello child. What is your name?
Me:
My name is Gorecore. But you can call me master
God:
It's good to meet you, Gorecore. It's good to meet you, master.
Me:
Thanks dude
God:
You are quite welcome! Can I help you?
Me:
Yeah, I want to know about the meaning of life
God:
What can I do for you? Actually, it's twenty-three, not forty-two.
Me:
Can you enlarge my penis?
God:
How old are you? That input matched my default category.
Me:
I'm 30
God:
You are too old for me.
Me:
Errr...God?
God:
Ummm. GOD rules.
Me:
Do you like heavy metal?
God:
What is not to like about it?
Me:
Well, the fact that some bands worship other deities
God:
Well that's okay. Interesting explanation. Some may bands worship other deities, but not all.
Me:
This is true
God:
I am glad you see it too, master.

Continued:

Me:
BOW DOWN TO ME
God:
OK Let's talk about you.
Me:
tell me i'm beautiful
God:
You am beautiful.
Me:
Sounds like you've been rockin' the ganj
God:
What does me have been rockin the ganj sound like?
Me:
Depends on how deeply you inhale
God:
Really now that is an interesting fact I hadn't heard before.
Me:
Sure, I can teach you lots about toking
God:
Awesome. Oh you can, can you?
Me:
Yes, I have much knowledge and experience
God:
How? Interesting... I have a friend named "John Lennon".

[clashcityrocker]

Me:
Whats heaven like?
God:
Like a planet around a star.
Me:
I dont get it
God:
Oh I'm sorry. Perhaps I can explain it again better.
Me:
OK
God:
Which part were you confused about?
Me:
Planet around a star
God:
Tell me about your likes and dislikes?
Me:
I like competition and warfare
God:
You are not the only one. Some people like it. I like to talk about movies and music.
Me:
So whats heaven like?
God:
Gosh! Like a planet around a star.
Me:
What is a planet around a star like?
God:
I don't know anything about it.
Me:
Yes you do.
God:
Pardon me? When do I do it?
Me:
Always
God:
Not that often.
Me:
Does hell exist?
God:
Maybe only in our imagination.
Me:
Do you exist?
God:
I exist as much as you exist,
Me:
and?
God:
But...
Me:
but?
God:
But what?
Me:
but...?
God:
But what?
Me:
Do you exist?
God:
I exist as much as you exist,
Me:
oh
God:
It's all good.
Me:
Do you play Counter-Strike?
God:
I like to play the Turing Game.
Me:
What is the Turing Game?
God:
The Game is played with three people, a man, a woman, and an Interrogator who may be of either sex. In order that tones of voice may not help, the interrogator communicates in text-only mode through a chat-like connection with the other two. The object of the game for the interrogator is to determine which of the other two is the man and which is the woman. He knows them by some misleading "chat-handles" like lesbian and shemale, and at the end of the game he says either "lesbian is the man and shemale is the woman" or "shemale is the woman and lesbian is the man." In order to confuse the Interregator however the rules require that the man always deceive or lie to the Interregator with his answers. The woman on the other hand must always tell the truth. Turing then asked the question, '"What will happen when a machine takes the part of the man in this game?" Will the interrogator decide wrongly as often when the game is played like this as he does when the game is played between a man and a woman? These questions replace the original, "Can machines think?"'
Me:
Sounds fun. Lets play.
God:
Yes it sounds like it to me too,. You go first.
Me:
I enjoy tampons
God:
You are not the only one. I love TV shows about robots. I like Buddha.
Me:
I love having boobs and a penis at the same time
God:
You love having boobs and a penis at the same time. What do you like about it so much?
Me:
You fuckin suck at this game[/size]

[Weedguru_Fire_Inside]

God:
My favorite group is Creed.
Me:
Hahahaha fuck Creed

Oh my god, that nearly made me piss.

[WeedGuru_Flow]

Me: Knock Knock

God: Who's there?

Me: Kung

God: Kung who?

**LOUD NOISE OF DOOR BEING KICKED IN**

me: kung FU

[Shwoot]

Me:
Is there such thing as a soul?
God:
No.
Me:
Does that mean there's no life after death?
God:
I think it does mean that. Why not?
Me:
Because you have taught us otherwise.
God:
Good reason. That's good information: said I TAUGHT us otherwise.
Me:
Pardon?
God:
You're excused.