Reminiscin/Maturing/Growing up...

[BGDetroit]

Jus been thinking back latley.

Where ive come from, Where ive been through, What ive seen, Money ive made, Fun ive had, Miserable times. Growing up in poverty and so much more.

When i was younger, All i wanted to be was a G, A G is a gangster. They'res 4 different types of G's. Theres "FG's", Which are fake gangsters, *censor* who want to be a gangster but dont really know what being down is. They'res "BG's", What did ya'll think the G in BG stood for? Fucking gangster. I am considered a BG. A youngin caught up in the game, Unsure of what the future brings, But still as down as the next G. They'res jus plain "G's". Which are the hoodest they get, The ruthless killers. The *censor* that never change, Willing to kill you over some cents and change. And they'res the "OG's, The one time some kind of G, That has changed and grown up, Matured and turned they're shit around. But can never get the G out of them. My pops is a OG.

When i was younger, I wanted to be a straight G. I couldnt wait to do prison time. I wanted to be out on the corner slangin rocks. I wanted to be packin heat. I wanted to be a gang banger, I wanted to live that. And not only because i felt it was the only thing i could do in life, But its what I WANTED to do in life. I felt it was the way for me.

So i wasted many years fucking around with that shit.

I banged, I slanged, I packed heat, I partyed with thugs and killers. I was straight hood. By the time i was 13 i was so deep in the game. I was making $500-700 dollars a week jus slangin. I was packin heat. Skippin school. Gettin drunk and high, Fucking with blow and pills. I was a baller, Straight ballin out of control. I loved it.

But as time went on, All my homies were jus like me, In the hood living in poverty yet having hundred dollar bills in our pockets. And over some time, I seen more and more people my same age, Donig the same thing i was doing, Dying off. Gettin killed, Gettin stomped to death, Gettin caugth in shootouts. Jus straight thug life.

By that point, I stepped back and stepped my game up. I quit slangin how i was, But jus enough to get by. I jus started gettin really into being high all day every day and never being high enough. I was paranoid then fuck. Everywhere i walked every 5 seconds i look behind me, I constantly watched my back. I wouldnt leave the house without being 5-10 deep with *censor*.

Then maybe half year ago, I caught a case for attempted breaking and entering. Im not gettin into that. But it changed my whole perspective on life.

At the time, I was as hard as i ever had been. If anybody as so much as spoke bad to me, I'd smash the fool. I was mean muggin and laughin at police. I didnt give a fuck. I went to court, Hood as i could. Then i realized the serioueness of this.

Then for 2 months i was on probation for courts. I had to be clean, I couldnt do drugs, If i did, Id be going to jail till i was 19. And i was going to Lincoln half of juvenile justice, Also known as the hardest juvy around.

I started drinking more, Got big into 40's. Didnt smoke once for 2 months. I mainly stayed in the house. I didnt talk to anybody i used to. I jus dropped off the face of earth. I was straight terrified of where my life was heading.

At the point, I have to say ive matured into a man and changed my whole life.

Now i finally feel good abotu my self. During that time, I did a lot of thinking. I was at home, But in my mind, I was doing hard time.

So now, Im past that shit. I put it behind me. Now, I still talk to some of the same fools i used to. But ive changed so much. Im still down if i have too. But im not doing senless crimes. I still have my boys trynig to get me to do shit with them. I refuse. Ill straight leave and not give a fuck what they think.

Jus a week ago, My boy offered me a job, He had this shit planned out. Jackin this fool that's high up in the game. We can each make 2-3 G's with no strings attached. I refused.

I now know im mature. I know can think for myself... And i feel good about it.




I dont know the point of this...

[WidespreadDead]

its good that getting sober turned your life around and while still doing drugs your able to head in the same direction, youve got control over your life thats a good thing

[Scratch]

I know what you mean...when you're a kid you want to be bad and dangerous - big man. But, as you grow up, you realise that criminals and people making money by dealing and stealing are actually the same people you never had any respect for because they're just fake. Real people finish schools, make legal money, help others, help their country and the whole situation instead of being a insect who has only money in his heart.

[BGDetroit]

I know what you mean...when you're a kid you want to be bad and dangerous - big man. But, as you grow up, you realise that criminals and people making money by dealing and stealing are actually the same people you never had any respect for because they're just fake. Real people finish schools, make legal money, help others, help their country and the whole situation instead of being a insect who has only money in his heart.

Thats pretty much sums it up. Thats what ive done realized.

[Sammy]

shit man lol i dont think that kind of stuff exists in canada

get crunk!

[Funk Doctor]

I know what you mean...when you're a kid you want to be bad and dangerous - big man. But, as you grow up, you realise that criminals and people making money by dealing and stealing are actually the same people you never had any respect for because they're just fake. Real people finish schools, make legal money, help others, help their country and the whole situation instead of being a insect who has only money in his heart.

That's a pretty huge double standard there. You have no respect for dealers, but you buy their merch and make them rich.

[Shwoot]

Good read man. I always like reading your posts, they're really interesting. It's good to hear that you got your shit together.

[mac dre]

shit man lol i dont think that kind of stuff exists in canada

[BGDetroit]

I know what you mean...when you're a kid you want to be bad and dangerous - big man. But, as you grow up, you realise that criminals and people making money by dealing and stealing are actually the same people you never had any respect for because they're just fake. Real people finish schools, make legal money, help others, help their country and the whole situation instead of being a insect who has only money in his heart.

That's a pretty huge double standard there. You have no respect for dealers, but you buy their merch and make them rich.

Well, They'res different kinds of dealers too.

The dealers who will sell anything to anybody i have no respect for. The mother fucker's selling rocks to ten year old kids. They jus sell the shit, Dont give a fuck what happens. How can you resepct somebody like that?

I respect all my dealers, Because my dealers aient those type of dealers. And i never was one of those types of dealers.

[Big Daddy]

BG you know i already told you that you didnt have to succumb to the life that surrounds you. To many times people struggling through life blame it on the way they were raised. I can respect that to some degree, but thats mostly a punk ass excuse they use.

[Scratch]

I know what you mean...when you're a kid you want to be bad and dangerous - big man. But, as you grow up, you realise that criminals and people making money by dealing and stealing are actually the same people you never had any respect for because they're just fake. Real people finish schools, make legal money, help others, help their country and the whole situation instead of being a insect who has only money in his heart.

That's a pretty huge double standard there. You have no respect for dealers, but you buy their merch and make them rich.

Some people do it just to get by, others are fucking insane. It's the insane fuckers I disrespect.

[BGDetroit]

BG you know i already told you that you didnt have to succumb to the life that surrounds you. To many times people struggling through life blame it on the way they were raised. I can respect that to some degree, but thats mostly a punk ass excuse they use.

I hear you bro. When you grow up in poverty and raised this way. Most people blame fucking up on they're enviroments. Which i used to to. And i still do to a degree. But they'res a point when your mind matures and you can see past the ghetto, Even if your still living there. And thats when they use it as a "exscuse". I used to be young and dumb, And the world around me "seduced" me in (for lack of a better word) but now my minds mature and i can see past it.

Now im moving on to bigger and better things. Working towards one day gettin up outta here.