The second we stepped off resort property the intoxication began, and stayed this way the majority of the trip. It took us a good 5 hours to reach our destination of West Edmonton Mall (WOW! Biiiggg), and our suite at the Fantasyland Hotel. We got our room for $116, which is pretty damn good considering its only $15 more than what you'd pay for a bare room at the resort, and ours had a private Jacuzzi, Mirror'd walls, a giant fluffy bed, bathroom, towels, unlimited noise levels...
(This is Caro) Okay so after we got situated, we dropped the ecstasy I smuggled into Canada and began to walk around the mall. It was nightime so almost everything was closed. We were able to buy a bottle of rum and a glass pipe and some blunt wraps, though. We went outside to smoke a joint and wondered about the quality of the e. Before we got back in I got extremely extremely high and had to be reminded that "it's all in your head". There was a display of live flamingos and them shits were crazy to look at. Having the plush hotel room to go back to whilst feeling that way was AMAZING. We watched anime while soaking in the hot tub. Heh. Yeah that's what we did.
heh
heheheh
Okay, (this is Sammy again), so from where she left off...after our 4-6 hours of "watching anime", we made two stiff drinks and walked around the mall , appreciating all the crazy colors and the sheer size of the damn place, oh yeah...before we left the room i rolled this giant Bahama Mama blunt, ohhh man i cant even describe how good that felt while i was buzzing my tits off. This giant, creamy, smooth delicious blunt that was OHHHH soooo soothing. We smoked up on the rooftops of West Ed Mall, where you can see the lights of the city.
(Caro speaking) I decided while we had the luxury of this hotel room to make some movies, so that we would always remember how fun it was. We proceeded to trash the hotel room. At one point I started the giant hot tub again and knda... forgot about it. The next thing we knew it was flowing over like a beautiful waterfall into a beige colored lake.
We slept for about 4 hours, woke up, made some more movies, and packed up. It was sad to leave the room. We went to the hotel lounge and there before us was the most gigantic flavorful variety of food you ever saw. We had pancakes, eggs (Sammy had meat
) and muffins and PINEAPPLES oh god the pinappples. And strawberries and doughnuts and cottage cheese and potatoes and omelettes and yogurt and melons (hehe) all washed down with a gigantic AM jug of spiced rum and pepsi. It was, in a word, glorious.(SammY)
We had planned on getting ripped before breakfast, but the food seemed more important at the time.
We only had 10 mins before they had to close the buffet so Caro shoved some extra munchies in her bag and we headed out to the car for our smoke. With a righteouss buzz off a morning blunt we started to wander around the mall again, just exploring some of the different shops that werent open the night before, especially the headshops, heehee. (This is Caro. Holy shit the head shops in Canada are amazing, you can get so much cool shit you can't get in the ones back home. Back to you Sammy). THE WATERPARK :
This place is awesome, we made the early bird special and paid only like..$12 each. We started with some of the slides that were open at that time, spent a few hours in the wavepool just floatin' and enjoying the buzz. We took a break from the park for a while to go get some lunch and ran into this specialty tea house...ohhh god soo gooood, we ordered Strawberry and Peach Green Bubble Tea...aaauughgh (this is Caro.... auhuhuh). Then ate some shitty (overpriced!) chinese food across the hall, then Caro made me go shopping for vegetarian crap in this marketplace, weirdest shit ever, like ....vegeterian liver, and steaks, and fish...whats shit made out of anyways?!
(Caro) ahh that was awesome I got some fillets.
Anyway, we went back and did some more sliding, but were starting to feel sooo burnt out. It was hard to climb up to the big slides. It would take us like half an hour. It felt like climbing Mt Everest. But the slides were sooo fun it was worth it. My favorite was the purple ones. Sammy wanted me to do the red ones but they were too scary, they looked like falling off a cliff. We did some hot tubbing (certainly not as fun as the hot tub in our room 
) and ruined some family's G-rated vacations. Fuck it. We got in trouble at the resort we work at for making out in the pool and by god, I didn't spend all that money to have to stay "bible distance apart" on my vacation. This was my first vacation I've taken as an adult on my own earning power. Oh and I would just like to say that as far as vacation stamina goes, Sammy pussed out and refused to do any more climbing before I was ready to be done.(Sammy) I was tiiiired, haha. Ah well, i got enough sliding in. The last part of our trip was kinda frustrating, the mall is great of course, but i learnt there is such a thing as TOO BIG. We ran into this one health food store earlier in the day and Caro saw this shampoo that she liked for a great price (
) , but we didnt have the money at the time. And when we came back later, the fuckin place was impossible to find. We must have spent 2 hours dragging our feet looking for this damn place, we even asked for directions from several store owners and we still couldnt find it!(Caro) So we got Taco Bell (this resort we work at is extremely remote, the closest fast food is hours away) and stocked up on personal products at the drug store, as they are also extremely expensive at the resort.
At this point it was like 8:30 pm and Sammy had to be at work at 7 am. Theoretically it is a 3 - 4.5 hour drive but um.... we were really fucking tired, stoned, drunk, and shortly became lost. By the time we got on the right freeway another hour had passed. I was too tired to be driving and nearly killed us (a few times - Sammy) no only once, barely avoiding a cement median that came out of FUCKING NOWHERE.
ANYWAY, Sammy passed out and I was slapping myself to stay awake. We get to this town where we need to change our route and proceed to waste another hour or two driving in fucking circles, driving up and down highways, not knowing where the fuck we were, getting maps and directions multiple times and still being lost, only to find ourselves right back where we were again. The problem is Alberta is fucking lame when it comes to road signs. We had been going the right way but there were no confirming signs so we had turned around.
So he passed out again and the batteries died. I had no music and it was dark. And boring. And I was driving too fast and erratic. About 1.5 hours away from home I woke him up and asked him to drive.
(Sammy) Okay, I've only driven a standard ONCE before in my entire life, and it was on an open highway. We switched places on the highway so that worked out quite nicely, i drove flawlessly until the reached the one place we had been trying to get to!! Man...i have a new found respect for people who drive standard, ( like I said. driving a stick makes you badass. -Caro) We got the one of the first stoplights in town and i stalled it
, then got it going again and slowly crept right through a red light with 2 police watching me directly in the other lane. 
Soooo of course i get pulled over, didnt have the correct license, Caro ALMOST couldnt find her proof of insurance...
(Caro) okay we had our "jug'o'drugs" unsecured in the backseat, as well as an open bottle of rum, and we had been smoking chronic in the car all day. But I was not worried! I love canada. I knew that unlike Washington, I would not be going to jail because A) the car would not be searched and B) even if it was they don't waste money putting people in jail for smoking weed here. The cop was still a dick and gave Sammy a huge ticket that was more than he spent during our entire trip.
I felt bad for making him drive.We smoked another bowl and finally got home some 7 hours after leaving the mall.
Thats about it. By the way, we don't have much access to the net, so we just wanted to keep you guys posted. I DO have one video I can share of the trashed hotel room and in it I am not wearing pants
but we may have to wait until the end of the summer to get it online. We have digi pictures too but the pc here has no USB port.Just letting you know these gurus are having a lot of fun together and dont forget about us be without us.
I found it rather humourous... 