dilemma

flynn · Post by **flynn** » Wed May 11, 2005 2:12 am

hmm...i am in really tight spot at the moment. i caught my best mate cheating on his girlfriend of 3 years last night when i went to the movies with a friend. i love this guys girlfriend, she is the nicest and sweetest girl around and i have become really good friends with her over the years but i have been mates with this guy for 12 years. i don't particularly want to ruin either of the relationships. i am so pissed at him at the moment! he is one of those guys that doesn't know what he has got and he is throwing it away in the name of a cheap thrill.

any suggestions would be welcome, i'm not thinking too straight at the moment, its been keeping me awake for days now

Post by **cutthecashflow** » Wed May 11, 2005 2:14 am

In that situation its Bros before Hoes man!

Youve known him for 12 years and her for 3. A friendship is one of the hardest things to get back after youve ruined it I say tell the dude whats up.

flynn · Post by **flynn** » Wed May 11, 2005 2:17 am

hmmm maybe, it becomes a little more complicated when his girlfriend is really good mates with my girl....

Big Daddy · Post by **Big Daddy** » Wed May 11, 2005 2:17 am

Damn you are stuck in quite a dilemma. Way i see it you can either:

1) Tell the girlfriend, because hey, its the right thing to do.
2) I know this might sound shallow, but Bros before Hoes!! 12 years is a long time to know a person. Me and my best friend have known each other for 14 years now.

Or you can go to your friend and tell him you caught him, and that if he doesnt tell his girlfriend, then you will.

In all likely hood, if you were to tell the girl that you caught her boyfriend cheating on her, then it shouldnt effect your friendship with him. Because, obviously he doesnt care about his girl or he wouldnt go around cheating.

Hope this helped.

Post by **cutthecashflow** » Wed May 11, 2005 2:18 am

O shit man I read the whole thing wrong. I thought she was cheating on him see.

Well in that case go and tell the girl.

flynn · Post by **flynn** » Wed May 11, 2005 2:22 am

my concious is telling me to tell her but how do you break that sort of news to someone? plus she has become a really good mate of mine. we go to gigs and movies together, she is a smoking buddy and she is my go to person for relationship dramas. i have known this guy for a long time but i value their friendships equally

Post by **cutthecashflow** » Wed May 11, 2005 2:24 am

Well all I can tell you is that shes gonna find out one way or another.

Girsl are good at doing that somehow.

So would you rather here it from you. Or would you rather have her walk in on the whole situation.

Maybe you should have your wife (Am I correct?) break the news to her.

flynn · Post by **flynn** » Wed May 11, 2005 2:28 am

i think i might just have to tell her. the other fucked thing about the situation is that when we were out at the pub the other night he got really shitty because one of her ex boyfriends was hanging around and came over to say hello. wtf is up with that

Big Daddy · Post by **Big Daddy** » Wed May 11, 2005 2:29 am

I still think the best thing is for you to go to your mate and tell him that if he doesnt break the news to her, then you will. In all reality, he should be the one to tell her anyway.

flynn · Post by **flynn** » Wed May 11, 2005 2:30 am

maybe. i just don't want to be his get out of jail free card

Caro · Post by **Caro** » Wed May 11, 2005 2:48 am

I don't think you should tell her. I think what you should do is confront him, and reason with him. Maybe you can get him to stop cheating

flynn · Post by **flynn** » Wed May 11, 2005 2:51 am

he probably would but i don't like going behind her back like that. seems kinda underhanded

TuRkiSh ToKeR · Post by **TuRkiSh ToKeR** » Wed May 11, 2005 4:14 am

My suggestion is to tell your friend that you saw him. You should talk it out with him and let him know its fucked up, make him realize his mistake. Hopefully he actualy feels bad about it and regrets it. But as far as the telling the girl part i dont know.

astramasta · Post by **astramasta** » Wed May 11, 2005 4:51 am

my advice is stay out of it, let them sot it out themselves, when it comes to relationships, its best to just let the couple involved sort it out, if u get involved, it could cause trouble. if u wanna stay friends with both, then u need to keep ur mouth shut, cause if u tell, then one of them is gonna fall out with u.
i know its difficult not to say anything, but its what u gotta do to keep both ur friends. hope that helps (im speaking from experience by the way, but everyone is different i suppose.)

pirate · Post by **pirate** » Wed May 11, 2005 5:25 am

Big Daddy wrote:I still think the best thing is for you to go to your mate and tell him that if he doesnt break the news to her, then you will. In all reality, he should be the one to tell her anyway.

if you tell her..he'll think you're interfering, if you tell him, she probably will never know you were "involved"...

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