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UkraineSmoker · Post by **UkraineSmoker** » Tue Jul 20, 2004 12:20 am

i never get bored in the summer

......... i have so much shit to do, its insane

i aint got no job, but i make money doin other shit....

Caro · Post by **Caro** » Wed Jul 21, 2004 12:17 am

How I Feel

or

Another excuse to write about myself.

I feel tired. And proud. And also like I'm doing the right thing in life for once, even though it's hard. I've broken all the control that my ex still had over me by moving to the town of my brother's death. I've gotten a job, albeit in a smoky den of sin and immorality. I'm learning to bartend at my job, where I'm a waitress and a cocktail waitress in a busy SCAM. It's challenging work that has nothing to do with the degree I just earned. I'm also making better money than I ever have before. Enough to maintain my non stop smokage, (which isn't that much anymore coz I work all the time

) help my mom to pay the rent on this beautiful house we live in, pay for groceries, pay off my credit card bill, and save up for a car and my own place.

I feel sad that Danny's gone and the way my dad has treated us since the tragedy. I don't feel too lonely... I like being alone. I realized that I hurt and more imporatantly, there was no one or nothing I needed, that could make it all better. Even the people I'm closest to - my ex, my best friends. Drugs I used to enjoy with extreme elation. Truly, you can only get so stoned. Pretty soon every blast is just a mild herbal headache and you want to move on to that acid and peruvian cocaine.
Losing him somehow is requiring my confrontation to myself. I am changing. The biggest change his been my search for God. It's something I devote time to every day, as least as much time as I do to grieving. I believe I would go crazy if I was not assured. My life has been hard. Harder now than I could ever have imagined - my problems were trivial before. But I feel His grace ouside here, and in other holy places. Now I feel my brothers with him, I remember my vision. Waving goodbye and smiling in a glorified body.

Arik ^ · Post by **Arik ^** » Wed Jul 21, 2004 1:25 am

(Posting again) Just did like 4 hours of work non stop got a shit load done infact I even jumped ahead so I cant turn it all in right now.

Someone left to go to cali for 2 weeks so I wont be hearing from her for a while. Plus maybe while she is gone she will forget about me and move on as I am doing.

Oyes and about that big bag of weed that I can smell... I dont have any money or weed. Have been chilling at home doing this school work so no time to earn money. I hope my mom will be nice and hook me up with some money. because when I'm finished well, As tech nine would say " Lets get fucked up"

I plan to live out of a backpack for a good week doing nothing just hanging with friends, skating and playing hackysack.

tweedle · Post by **tweedle** » Wed Jul 21, 2004 2:29 am

i feel bored and like theres fuck all to do, i need a job and im lookin 2 get me one of those hackysacks, they look fun. i just feel like a bum

Weed-iculous · Post by **Weed-iculous** » Wed Jul 21, 2004 2:46 am

u guys gotta get outside...if u dont get enough of that vitamin shit from the sun then u get deppressed and kill urself...thats y like 30% of the male population commit suicide in one of those cold places that gets like 4 hours of sun

tweedle · Post by **tweedle** » Wed Jul 21, 2004 2:47 am

i go out and shit but theres fuck all 2 do where i live and theres no money as i have no job

Weed-iculous · Post by **Weed-iculous** » Wed Jul 21, 2004 3:22 am

Shrooms wrote:playing hackysack.

hmm u bag too...any good???

Arik ^ · Post by **Arik ^** » Wed Jul 21, 2004 3:54 am

Yeah I'm pretty good at it, me and my friends can play hacky sack for hours at a time like every day.

tweedle · Post by **tweedle** » Wed Jul 21, 2004 5:14 am

where can i get one of these hacky sacks for cheap?

rakanishu15 · Post by **rakanishu15** » Wed Jul 21, 2004 5:40 am

i fell pretty good, got my freshman year of college coming up and Im excited to get some time away from my gf of 2 years. She will be 8 hours away. Shes kinda the smothering type you know. But I still have a month and a half left of summer... Im just happy to spend it with my sis' and my gf till she goes away to her college.

Weed-iculous · Post by **Weed-iculous** » Wed Jul 21, 2004 5:51 am

tweedle wrote:where can i get one of these hacky sacks for cheap?

a good footbag as the real name is(it'll save u embaressment if ur ever hangin with serious baggers) The Mr. sandman is wat its called 4-8 bux depensing on which site. freedomfootags.com sells em for 8 bux...or u could just get a chrotchet bag which are those ones u see verywhere thay are weaved with that yarn type stuff...those are available everywhere goto ur mall or a head shop would probably sell em

tweedle · Post by **tweedle** » Wed Jul 21, 2004 1:05 pm

cheers gonna order one sooon

flynn · Post by **flynn** » Wed Jul 21, 2004 1:11 pm

if you guys have any hacky vids post em here, ima working on one now

tweedle · Post by **tweedle** » Wed Jul 21, 2004 1:13 pm

when i get mine, ill post some. I downloaded some the other day it look kool

GodHand Kronix · Post by **GodHand Kronix** » Wed Jul 21, 2004 3:23 pm

I'm kinda drunk right now, and I figured I'd post what's going on for my little "second family" to read, if any of you care, that is. I...think another friend of mine might have passed away. She's usually online every night, and we talk until late, real late, like 5 or 6 AM. We're really close. Anyways, she hasn't been online for like a week, so I tried calling her house, and her mother said she wasn't home through sporadic sobbing. I tried calling both of her cousins' houses, but nobody answered. I tried talking to her boyfriend, but he's too "depressed". I'm scared, really scared...last year my friend died from heroine, and I had to watch him die in front of my own fucking eyes. That mentally scarred me for life, and I don't think I'm ready to handle another death. I honestly don't mean to divert attention from Caro, who obviously needs support because of her poor brother's passing, but this is really freaking me out and I'm scared of what I might do if she's really gone...

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