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okay, I thnk I may be having a huge stroke of bad luck, I am in the middle of a job right now where i'm scraping old paint off a 300 year old house and restoring it, so lots of lead have been spread throughout my body, and it's gotten mighty hard reading the text on this sight now, lol, uhhh, I poked and got shit in my eyes about fifty times within three days, I can't remember shit for more than 5 days or somethin', I've grown so far apart from my friends I don't know ho they are anymore, I don't even know who I am anymore, everythings gotten soooo fucked up, there's so much other bad shit that's happened that I can't even remember now, this is almost half of it, and I think half of this may be the lead talking, I think I gotta get the hell out of this country, and uhhhh, I think I need some kind of spiritual help or something, uhh, i'm completly screwed when it comes to school, my folks are just giving me shit and negitivity about it, aaaaand I need to get the fuck out of this place before I kill somebody... and it wasn't easy typing all this, does anyone wanna gimme some advice or comments or something?

I voted for the monkey but thats only cause if u had a pet monkey you'd never have to worry about anything again, let the monkey worry instead.lol.

I say you just take a break for a week or 2 and see how u feel at the end of that, if you still aint great then open the poll again......

just remember this: eventualy everything evens itself out, sure things may seem bad now, but in the end it will all turn around for you, its karma. and when you feel down, just remmber 'not one step backwards' its what the russians said in ww2 at stalingrad (thank you call of duty) its been kinda like a motto as i come out of deppresion, keep going forward...

you need something thats not on there but im not sure what yet

ill think

try and get a girlfriend. its important she's a friend too and not just a glorified fuck buddy. this happened to me when i was really down and it helped me a lot. obviously this is a different situation, but love can help anyone. i don't have a clue about the effects of lead but its dangerous you really shouldn't be exposed to it.

it's feels like everything i've come to know in my life has gone corrupt, everything I believed in was a lie, it's the worst feeling i've felt in almost all my life, I have or had a girlfriend who was supposed to come up from texas for the summer but it's like she vanished, and I don't know about karma, I didn't do anything bad enough for this, not in this lifetime anyway...

oh yeah, and bob marley came to me in a dream last night, I dunno what the point of it was, but I smoked a joint with him... I forgot what he said to me, but maybe i'll remember it later...

dude find a doctor a shrink maybe im not sure or smoke some more bud it clears your head maybe you wanna wear safety glasses i dont know

thanks but i've been there before, shrinks don't really care about they're clients they just care about how much cash they're getting, well, that's what it's like here anyway. but yeah, glases and a mask would probably help. didn't have em on hand at the time.

Or you can take the pills and then send them to me i could go for some anti depressents

ojaa, I got some of those, how many you want? lol

What kind you got.

I said monkey coz everyone needs a monkey!!!

hehe, guess people like monkeys, ahhhh, I got neurontin and celexa but i don't use em anymore

ya, well I'm feeling a little better, I'm getting back into school which I should try to focus on as long as I don't fall asleep in classes and put a little effort in I should be fine, all this crap that;s been going on has all been in my head, just gotta keep my chin up and like orange said keep moving forward, and when the bad comes, well, screw it, let the future bring what it may.

I fuckin hate my job, they fired all my friends, and gave me a crappy schedule that has no customers, but still that's not as bad as lead poisoning. At least you contribute to something beautiful instead of contributing to DUI's. I think you just need a new job, just remember if you find something you love, you never have to work another day in your life.