Drifting
Posted: Wed Jun 09, 2004 8:41 am
you may have noticed (most likely not) i haven’t posted in a few weeks. i had cut myself off from everyone and everything, and was planning to run a knife through my gut today and bleed to death under the willow tree...
but this morning i had a strange experience, just after i woke up looked at the clock "5:14" and thought fuck it and laid back down and closed my eyes. i was still aware/awake, i saw a face in the darkness behind my eye lids, like a face in a dark room being lit by a dim light, it was the only thing i saw. Normally if i close my eyes and see a face, i open my eyes quickly again out of some childish fear, however this time my eyes remained closed. i thought "who are you?" a beam of shaped light shot from the forehead of the face and engulfed me, i seemed to shoot one back. after this i remember lots of shapes, lights colours, strange and beautiful. There’s a big gap in my memory of what happened, but the last thing i remember was floating along an idealic looking high street somewhere, and on into the fields. Music was playing the whole time, sounded kinda like a mixture between the music of king crimson and the voice of pink floyd, im not sure if someone was playing this music while i was alseep or if i made it all up in my head? The very last thing i heard as i was drifting along into the fields was "until the trees tell you the kingdom is dead" in a kind of "just another brick in the wall" pink floyd style and then i awoke bright and alert. i don’t remember anything else of the song or the floating, but it was fucking trippy, and a total surprise as i have been out of drugs for about a month or so, if not more…
however, I didn’t feel that bad at all this morning, like someone had removed a bad memory from my brain, or re-structured my mentality. Maybe I should try not to loose my head, "until the trees tell me the kingdom is dead"
but this morning i had a strange experience, just after i woke up looked at the clock "5:14" and thought fuck it and laid back down and closed my eyes. i was still aware/awake, i saw a face in the darkness behind my eye lids, like a face in a dark room being lit by a dim light, it was the only thing i saw. Normally if i close my eyes and see a face, i open my eyes quickly again out of some childish fear, however this time my eyes remained closed. i thought "who are you?" a beam of shaped light shot from the forehead of the face and engulfed me, i seemed to shoot one back. after this i remember lots of shapes, lights colours, strange and beautiful. There’s a big gap in my memory of what happened, but the last thing i remember was floating along an idealic looking high street somewhere, and on into the fields. Music was playing the whole time, sounded kinda like a mixture between the music of king crimson and the voice of pink floyd, im not sure if someone was playing this music while i was alseep or if i made it all up in my head? The very last thing i heard as i was drifting along into the fields was "until the trees tell you the kingdom is dead" in a kind of "just another brick in the wall" pink floyd style and then i awoke bright and alert. i don’t remember anything else of the song or the floating, but it was fucking trippy, and a total surprise as i have been out of drugs for about a month or so, if not more…
however, I didn’t feel that bad at all this morning, like someone had removed a bad memory from my brain, or re-structured my mentality. Maybe I should try not to loose my head, "until the trees tell me the kingdom is dead"
