When All Is Lost.

[Weedguru_Fire_Inside]

It’s hard to determine what’s happening to me right now,
Difficult to see what’s going to happen next.
It better be good… I haven’t felt good in a while.
So many times I’ve tried to confide in my pride,
Live life on the edge, walk on the wild side.
But every time something good’s about to happen,
My confidence just seems to slide.
It slips back down the spiral staircase,
That helter-skelter in the back of your mind.
Falls from the edge of my previous pledge,
As my emotions become inter-twined.
Twisted and mangled as my mind becomes tangled,
And my positive energy shoved,
To a place so bedraggled, my heart feels so strangled,
Leaving me impossible to love.
It seems as though my ship has sunk,
My passengers reduced to lifeless figurines in the cold waters of solitaire,
I ask myself “how could I be so stupid as to wither within myself?”
How could I be so self-belligerent as to drive myself as low as this?
So low, there is no further to fall
If I could have so much as dream of what life really could be,
I could see how things should be,
And I’d have it all.

[weedguru_animal]

Nice lines, Fire...I can relate to the self destructive elements, which isn't a good thing for me, but it is a good thing for your poem.
I especially liked the opening two lines
'It’s hard to determine what’s happening to me right now,
Difficult to see what’s going to happen next.'