Crying for nothing.

[Mate]

read if you want...
it doesnt have a point, it's something i just realised.
it contains emotions.. so every 'emotions haters' should not read this

that's it.
my anger management problems are back, i've seen a psychologist cause of that when i was a kid ( 8-9 years ago)... but it's back.... i'm totally losing control of myself everytimes something i don't like happens.
and everything is against me.

i just cried like a baby over totally nothing, alone.
Only cause i got pissed in a game.
i've totally lost controll and began to punch my wall,
until i stop, and remember all the shit i had to go trought to solve this problems.
all the money and time spent.

but when i realised my mom isnt there anymore to... just....y'know, take care of me(weird to say that when you are 19 years old).
I just realised for the first time of my adult life, i'm not with mom and dad anymore... i'm not with my sisters anymore..... not my with my grand-parents........

i'm so fuckin... pissed emotionaly.... I don't have anyone to talk to, i see my friends 2 times a week..... but i try to have fun... and not to think about how boring and sad my life are without em...

my ex left me 4 month ago.... i had no emotion for it... until now....i was alway with her, in the appartment, when my friend were not there, i had someone to talk, someone to be with, especially, someone to love.

i've learnt that, when you realise something big in your life, everything flows, and you finnaly see everything that was pissing you, without really seeing it... i cried a big time alone....
i needed so much to talk to someone that i'm typing this on a forum.

I'm constantly searching a reason... a meaning for life... WHY.
i'm really into philosophical readings... etc.... it haunts my mind, i'm alway trying to figure how does it works... what's death... etc..... constantly... i'm looking for answer... like a kid.

there's a fuckin lot to say... but i'm typing........................
but god,
it helped to type this shit....

for every haters that would call me an emo, you're retarded as fuck, because when something like that happens to you... when you see how better it was before....

is there anyone that had this before ?

[Eugene]

i'm so fuckin... pissed emotionaly.... I don't have anyone to talk to, i see my friends 2 times a week..... but i try to have fun... and not to think about how boring and sad my life are without em...

WG members...UNITE! I'm sure more than a dozen members on here that are more than willing, at the drop of a hat, to take some time out of their schedule to just have a chat. Mate, I'm on at all hours of basically everyday. Never hesitate to hit me up on AIM or MSN at anytime, I'm always down for a chat. Whether it's something extremely meaningful and personal, or you just wanna shoot the shit.

Peace Mang. Think of it like this, you're looking at one of the most difficult times in your life. You're an adolescent, with nothing to fall back on. You have to go out and earn everything for yourself it seems like. Do it! Make the best of what you have and what you can. Not only could it be worse, but it will definitely get better in the future.

More to all of this. I've definitely felt like the world was "raining down on me" before too man. When I was in middle school and high school, 3 of my closest friends were killed in acts of violence, my cousin committed suicide, both of my cats and one of my dogs died (I know, they're pets, but for someone that grew up with the animals it was tough for me at the time). You'll move on, you'll experience new things. I know, it feels almost like a bad trip when it's happening, like it's never going to end, but it will.

While you may feel shitty, always remember, it could be worse. Not to jynx anything, but, I mean, you're posting on a computer, you're smoking weed, at least you had a serious relationship, something i've never been able to experience and would love to experience so at least you know what that's like.

On another note, dude, one of the greatest things a guy can do when he's feeling lousy, is have a good cry. I've done it. I mean, I've only done it a few times during rough parts of my life, but I have done it. It helps, it is nothing to be ashamed of.

[(weedguru)scarf]

yeah man i feel where you're at...
im someone who over analyzes EVERYTHING... always thinking and re-thinking... it
takes its toll sometimes... and you feel... worthless... helpless might be better...

i agree with Eugene though... round the corner things could be getting better
and they can almost always be worse...

when im feeling like this i tend to draw a lot...find an outlet...or vent....
everyone who experiences this shit has different reasons as to why...

if you haven't cried your lying...

sorry if these are broken sentences... but eugene is right there will always be people on this board to help you out... just ask mate


peace

[slashx16]

im always up for a chat on msn, so feel free to hit me up any time if u wanna talk, my msn is on that chat thread

[cupcake]

i know exactly how you are feeling. i`ve been there, plus some.

[ i would have liked to explain better, but, i`ve just woken-up and that seems near impossible. o_< ]

as everyone else has said, if you ever need to talk, do not hesitate. i`d love to talk, or just listen. whichever you`d prefer. i`m also pretty good at cheering people up.

i really hope that you feel better, soon.

[Eugene]

baaaaaaaaked cupcake

[cupcake]

whazzaaaaap?

lol.

[Eugene]

haha dunno just felt like writin that.

[cupcake]

haha dunno just felt like writin that.

lol.

[MatteN]

ya man i've been through some crazy shit that i don't even like to talk about anymore and i'm 18 about to go out and i'm nervous as fuck.

if i screw up once my whole family is ready to jump on me. everyone one of them that's why i won't fail, i can't, cause they said i'll fail and i'm going to prove them wrong.

DOUBT ME NOW BITCH. that's what i'm gonna say once i "make it"

ya dude i'm alwayz willin to help too on AIM. peace bro good luck

[Mate]

yeah man i feel where you're at...
im someone who over analyzes EVERYTHING... always thinking and re-thinking... it
takes its toll sometimes... and you feel... worthless... helpless might be better

I'm analysing too much.
Everything that comes to me. Either positive or negative, i'll try to analise everything related to it.. why, when, how... etc etc.
i alway need to understand... or i just feel clueless about what's hapenning.

While you may feel shitty, always remember, it could be worse. Not to jynx anything, but, I mean, you're posting on a computer, you're smoking weed, at least you had a serious relationship, something i've never been able to experience and would love to experience so at least you know what that's like.

I understand what you mean, but i've never felt... that desespered.
i'm not motivated at all to work.. to study......
i've lost my wallet , something else that fuckin pisses me off, in addition to the rest.
my social insurance card, credit card...everything is lost.
tomorow i had to see the dentist... but wait, no wallet anymore.. no card, no identity, my teeths hurt.... and it drives me fuckin mad.
i have to wait 2 week that everything is back.
without wallet
no money. No docotor. No Moves(since my bus pass was in it)
i'm totally disabled...
and frustated.

I'm planning to call my friend tomorow.. i don't work.. i'll try to find an appartment with him..... i just can't live alone. I NEED someone to be with.. or after 1-2 month... i just lose control.

if i screw up once my whole family is ready to jump on me. everyone one of them that's why i won't fail, i can't, cause they said i'll fail and i'm going to prove them wrong.

DOUBT ME NOW BITCH. that's what i'm gonna say once i "make it"

Well, my parents alway tought i was capable of anything...cause i'm 19. But.. even if i'm 19. or 25 or 16... if i don't know how to organise my life....or did not learnt how to... i will alway be lost, and in trouble.

My parents were not there too much. i had 3sisters(13-15-20 y/o)... so i was alway talking with someone.

anyway....i have nothing to prove to my parents.

but i wish you best of luck with yours.

[asswipe]

I'm analysing too much.
Everything that comes to me. Either positive or negative, i'll try to analise everything related to it.. why, when, how... etc etc.
i alway need to understand... or i just feel clueless about what's hapenning.

you do understand that smoking weed incredibly increases this feeling. And most time turns out to negative analyses. They say getting high will leave you stressless and get rid of all thoughts, but when your in a depressed mood weed can fuck with your mind madly. Maybe cut off the weed for a month? and see whether that makes any difference to the over-analysing part. I understand its part of your personality, but weed definately strengthens it. Anyway don't rush things, get everything back in line one by one. Eventually everything (or at least the major part) will be okay. Sometimes rythm is the key to life, sleep solid at the same time, wake up rather early even if you don't have work or anything to do, work at a daily or constant times.

good luck anyway and I have fully confidence that you will make it allright, the less you say to yourself that all is going downways, the better you will feel.

[Mate]

i smoked 3 joints since february 1rst.
lol

i already took a break way before my panic attack, or whatever happens.
Just read in the 'I'm high' section.

I don't think weed could be the problem.
personaly.

It's more like of a list of bad things that happens to me all at the same time.
i'm actually getting my cards back, will take a whole month.
means that for a whole month, i'l have 0 money, wich sucks hard......

at least, it will make some economies to me....

[stnoed]

im too manly to have any emotion other than anger

[AbbyRoad]

imagine, have strength to carry one (i know its lame to say but whatever)
i understand the importance of needing someone to talk to. i feel sad almost all the time when im alone, its always been that way. only when im around other ppl (namely my friends) do i feel joy. so when im around them i cover all "negative" emotions and project pure happiness, which i was told is a fucked thing, then i save all my negativity for when i get home. and lash it out on my family. they have to deal with a quick tempered bitch when everyone else thinks im happy. i didnt know till last night when i had a long msn talk (3 hours) with ym friend justin that this was depression. it all started out us talking about me feeling so insecure about my bf. i like know he cares about me but if i dont see him for like a day or he doesnt pay attention to me when his friends are around i feel liek he doesnt want me or is just using me. its all in my head. and i totally understand the who crying. i cryed at work when i saw i had no hours, i was just so freaked because i need to save for college and i have 2 shifts a week, i just stressed out.