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The other day i was playing football (soccer ) and i got the ball kicked in my bollocks. As i was falling on the floor in agony, the guy who kicked the ball fell and his knee connected right to my temple. I was practically knocked out and could barely continue.

What's the worst you have ever been owned?

P.S. I know i said i quit but lets face it, i have nothing better to do. edited by animal

haahahahaha, a few weeks back i was climbing the fence of a skatepark as a shortcut. I was wearing flat soled nikes witch have no grip and it was pretty wet cause it had been raining earlier. As i attemted to step over the fence i slipped and winded myself on the fence. Probably the worst i've ever been unable to breath infront of a skatepark full of a load of people. I challenge anyone to try and look cool when they've just been winded

good to have you back.

alright, it was early in the morning and i was walking to the front yard to get something out of my car. It was raining so i ran, somehow i slipped on the tile flew up in the air and landed on my ass pocket that had my lighter in it. Hurt so bad that i just laid squirming on the floor for a minute.

by the way i know i have said this but i break out in laughter everytime i see cusmars avatar

Oh God... You want the list?

1992 (5 years old) fell from halfway up the stairs at my grandma's house and landed on the table in the hallway. Broke the humorous and radius in my left arm

1994 - was running to my computer, slipped on a plate and cracked my head open on a chest of drawers

1997 (i think) i was jumping up and down on my couch, tripped on my shoelace and got a fucking hardcore ear piercing on the corner of the coffee table.

2001 - something had really scared the shit out of our horses, and i was trying to calm them down with my friends, and i ran behind one of the horses to get to the other side, but it bucked and kicked my shoulder out of it's socket.

2002 - was playing golf, my friend was taking his tee shot and i leaned over to put a towel in my bag, he took his backswing and caught me just above my right eye, got a pretty mean scar there now, and i don't know how the fuck i managed to stay on my feet.

2002 - was playing basketball for school. i ran in to the side of the key to score a lay-up, and the other teams centre checked me into the wall, had a pretty bad concussion.

2004 - was riding our motocross bikes in a meadow near my house and i went up a hill, but so did my friend, he came up from the other side and we crashed head on. no serious damage to either of us, but our bikes weree pretty fucked.

when i was really little..around 8-9 years old...me and the cousins were playing slippery slide down the windshield of my grandfather's ancient Packard and when it was my turn, i got my crotch caught on a broken windshield wiper...

three days ago, was trying to act cool in front of this new chick who's joined office...was talking to her, she said she wanted coffee, so i turned around and walked right into the peon who was holding a tray full of tea cups and got tea all over my hoody...

I got owned yesterday. I wont even go into how bad of a haircut I have. Lets just say my hat wont be coming off for 4-6 weeks.

purple monkey wrote:when i was really little..around 8-9 years old...me and the cousins were playing slippery slide down the windshield of my grandfather's ancient Packard and when it was my turn, i got my crotch caught on a broken windshield wiper...

^^^^^^^ That'd hurt

One time i was playing dizzy dizzy dinosaurs and fell over and snapped my colar bone. Then another time i was trying to get an apple pie out of a high cupboard, stood on a stall and fell off. That was pretty bad but not the worst part, the worst part was that when i fell off the stool i also dropped the apple pie and while i was on the floor screamin in pain (i was 5) the dog was eatin the fuckin pie infront of my face I laugh about it now lol

Today i stood on a thorn went straight through my big toe

Ive got a Double bunk bed which is about as high as the room i had to set it up my self so i didn't put the safety rails on.. Anyway last thursday i fell out of it in my sleep woke up on the floor in agony. I just stumbled my way back into bed. When i woke up in the morning i realised i had fell out caught my arm pit on something and it had ripped the shit outta it. Im taking pretty fucking badly my bed was covered in blood and its a week later it still hasn't healed very well.. Got some shitty carpet burns aswel.. baa

it would be hard to say what was the worst shit that happend to me cuz I did alot of idiotic stuff in my life but...last year when riding my bike I looped highchair wheelie at around 95 mph...that ended up bad...a month later I lost control of a no handed wheelie and the triple clamp (bars) hit me in the head (I didn't wear helmet) leaving nice hole in my forehead...that ended up bad too...and I don't even want to remember the crazyness I was doing as a mindless kid...hahaha...

Hm i guess im kind of boring. The worst that happened to me was i got dump tackled by this guy and then a group of people jumped on top of us. Hm thinking about it, I was quite OWNED


Off-topic: 100 posts

last week in school i had the option of walking around the desks to get to my seat which is what i usually do. But i decided I could just slide over them and go straight to my seat without having to go out of my way. I did slide onto my seat, but i brought down two desks and two chairs and i ended up on the floor. The whole class laughed at me, and I basically looked like a tool, but it would have happened sooner or later because i was thinking of doing that the whole year.

I got owned a few times..

Back when I was 16 and mountain biking on Mount Orford. It's a large skihill, 3000 feet in elevation I think. I went all the way to the top . It was quite the day, cause on my trip up I spotted 2 bear cubs pretty damn close to me, 25ft away I guess. Bears are real uncommon around here. I stopped just gawking and not moving for what seemed like forever. It was prolly on 5 seconds though! Then I remembered something I had learnt back in grade..if there are bear cubs the mother isn't very far away. So I just like bolted it the rest of the fucking way up the mountain, never once looking back. I was too damn scared too I think. So, that was fine..didn't see the bears again..or maybe I did.

My next memory is laying face up on the ground with this bis ass light in my eyes, and I could here someone talking in french, asking if I was ok. I was trying to open my eyes, but couldn't cause it was the sun shining on me. I tried talking to them but they kept saying 'what?what?' . Next thing I remember is waking up in an ambulance. I heard the sirens. They were asking me my name and number stuff like that. I was consious for the rest of the trip there, but don't really remember anything. Turns out, the ambulance had come up the mountain (there is a service road that winds up the mountain to the top) and rescued me there. Two hikers had seen me wipe out. I swerved off the path and down a slope with lotsa trees and rocks. They said I rolled and bounced about 100 ft down. One of them ran back down the mountain to get help, and the other one stayed with me. It took well over and hour to rescue me.

So anyways, I was admitted to the hospital for a few days. I got off fucking lucky. No broken bones at all, just massive brusing and scraping. I had a badass concussion, but was back to normal within a week. The doc said the helmet saved me, it was cracked and bashed in.

The thing is nobody knows why I swerved off like that. The two hikers said I kept repeating "what was it?what was it?. I still wonder too this day if I swerved to miss a bear....

Next story

The day before the first day of highschool (grade 7 here) I was over at the old abandoned mill fucking around with a couple of my friends. This place was in ruins , but it was full off cool shit so we took the chance. Gawd, were we ever stupid..that place coulda collapsed anytime. Anyway, up on the second floor there was a hole about 2 ft wide. Without thinking, I jumped over it. I landed ok, but when I lifted up my foot there was a piece of wood stuckabout 1.5 ft long and6 inches wide stuck to the bottom of my foot. I felt nothing. I put my foot back down and then on of my friends says shit man, theres blood comin outta the seams of your shoe. I look down and see tons of blood coming from outta every possible on my shoe. I knew you weren't supposed to remove impaled objects from your body, but I did anyways. The guys held the board down and I pulled my foot off. Damn , that was when the pain started. They helped me hobble home and I got a speedy trip to the ER. Turns out, the nail was very close to going through and through my foot. Pieces of rust were visible on the xray inside my foot. The doc said it'll do more harm than good to remove them . So, I still walk around with them lol.

I'll tell the other stroies later
Did anybody actually read that?

okay well one time i was playing i think kick ball or something with my family durring easter or some holiday and my step dad at the time was playing second base and i was at bat (or kick) what ever i kicked it really far passed first and was on my way to second having every intention to stop there well i did all right he was standing in front of the plate and i wasnt watching where i was going and mind you this man was at least 300 lb and i was a scrwny 100 lb i ran into him and like i hit him and fell straight back the fucker didnt even budge then i got tagged out it sucked

If you can picture the lines as people i got a little creative on all yall

l l ---> l l ---> ll ---> l / ---> l __
...^me..............^the collision....^ me on the grond

Yah I admit i got OWNED there!

Weedguru Higher wrote:I got owned a few times..

Back when I was 16 and mountain biking on Mount Orford. It's a large skihill, 3000 feet in elevation I think. I went all the way to the top . It was quite the day, cause on my trip up I spotted 2 bear cubs pretty damn close to me, 25ft away I guess. Bears are real uncommon around here. I stopped just gawking and not moving for what seemed like forever. It was prolly on 5 seconds though! Then I remembered something I had learnt back in grade..if there are bear cubs the mother isn't very far away. So I just like bolted it the rest of the fucking way up the mountain, never once looking back. I was too damn scared too I think. So, that was fine..didn't see the bears again..or maybe I did.

My next memory is laying face up on the ground with this bis ass light in my eyes, and I could here someone talking in french, asking if I was ok. I was trying to open my eyes, but couldn't cause it was the sun shining on me. I tried talking to them but they kept saying 'what?what?' . Next thing I remember is waking up in an ambulance. I heard the sirens. They were asking me my name and number stuff like that. I was consious for the rest of the trip there, but don't really remember anything. Turns out, the ambulance had come up the mountain (there is a service road that winds up the mountain to the top) and rescued me there. Two hikers had seen me wipe out. I swerved off the path and down a slope with lotsa trees and rocks. They said I rolled and bounced about 100 ft down. One of them ran back down the mountain to get help, and the other one stayed with me. It took well over and hour to rescue me.

So anyways, I was admitted to the hospital for a few days. I got off fucking lucky. No broken bones at all, just massive brusing and scraping. I had a badass concussion, but was back to normal within a week. The doc said the helmet saved me, it was cracked and bashed in.

The thing is nobody knows why I swerved off like that. The two hikers said I kept repeating "what was it?what was it?. I still wonder too this day if I swerved to miss a bear....

Next story

The day before the first day of highschool (grade 7 here) I was over at the old abandoned mill fucking around with a couple of my friends. This place was in ruins , but it was full off cool shit so we took the chance. Gawd, were we ever stupid..that place coulda collapsed anytime. Anyway, up on the second floor there was a hole about 2 ft wide. Without thinking, I jumped over it. I landed ok, but when I lifted up my foot there was a piece of wood stuckabout 1.5 ft long and6 inches wide stuck to the bottom of my foot. I felt nothing. I put my foot back down and then on of my friends says shit man, theres blood comin outta the seams of your shoe. I look down and see tons of blood coming from outta every possible on my shoe. I knew you weren't supposed to remove impaled objects from your body, but I did anyways. The guys held the board down and I pulled my foot off. Damn , that was when the pain started. They helped me hobble home and I got a speedy trip to the ER. Turns out, the nail was very close to going through and through my foot. Pieces of rust were visible on the xray inside my foot. The doc said it'll do more harm than good to remove them . So, I still walk around with them lol.

I'll tell the other stroies later
Did anybody actually read that?

the bear cubs caught my attention so i kept reading...
i also had a board nailed onto my foot once, i was jumping a fence and when i hit the ground on the other side a nail went through my sneaker and into my foot.
when it happened i was on my way from school to an old smoking spot, so we finished smoking and headed back turned out i had to go the hospital cuz it kept bleeding then they gave me a tetnis shot.