Appropriate or Tacky?

ErinElizabeth · Post by **ErinElizabeth** » Thu Oct 20, 2005 5:16 pm

Alright, brief history: My father passed away on May 15th, 2004. Since he has, I've found it fun to "decorate" his gravestone. For example, on his birthday (March) I tied Happy Birthday balloons next to his grave, put small decorative sparkle-sticks in the ground (those sticks with the metalic ribbons on them) and threw birthday confetti all around. For Father's Day, he also got balloons. For Halloween this year, I put 2 large pumpkins, several small gourds, fake spiderwebs, and threw halloween confetti into the webs.

I do it because I know he'd probably get a kick out of it, and it includes him in the holiday, because we feel that even though he's not here physically, his spirit is.

So, the real question is: if your parent passed away (or already has) would you decorate their graves, or would you think it to be tasteless?

GAZ · Post by **GAZ** » Thu Oct 20, 2005 5:22 pm

I think its pretty cool you do that. Just make sure that other people that have family buried in the graveyard arent offended by it. Especially with the whole halloween thing.

pirate · Post by **pirate** » Thu Oct 20, 2005 5:24 pm

I dunno..when my uncle passed away 2 weeks ago, his wife and kids set off firecrackers and had a jazz band playing swing at the funeral.

Nobody in family takes death to be a matter of grief. You grieve the person's loss for some time (obviously or other people think you're psychotic) but after that....

My sister's boyfriend's dad passed away like 6-7 years ago. His brother got married this past friday. Since we were going from the "boy's side", we went to his place too..and his dad was a constant topic of conversation...the groom was using the family potrait to check his turban..

somebody slap me...im rambling now

MOT · Post by **MOT** » Thu Oct 20, 2005 5:29 pm

I think its a wicked idea, if i ever by mistake was buried when i die, thats what i would want done. Its those graves where people have made an effort that you know they were really loved.

GAZ · Post by **GAZ** » Thu Oct 20, 2005 5:29 pm

MOT · Post by **MOT** » Thu Oct 20, 2005 5:31 pm

GAZ wrote:SLAP

What?

GAZ · Post by **GAZ** » Thu Oct 20, 2005 5:32 pm

I was slapping purple monkey. lol.

MOT · Post by **MOT** » Thu Oct 20, 2005 5:33 pm

Stupid stoned me! Thought that was your input on her problem! My apologies my Welsh compadre!

tweedle · Post by **tweedle** » Thu Oct 20, 2005 5:43 pm

If it makes you feel happy, then I dont see why you shouldnt do it.

Funk Doctor · Post by **Funk Doctor** » Thu Oct 20, 2005 6:25 pm

Every year on my late cousin's birthday I bury a blunt in the ground before his gravestone. My way of remembering him.

Everyone has their way of remembering loved ones, and nobody should comment on it. Just try and be respectful to the people buried around them.

ErinElizabeth · Post by **ErinElizabeth** » Fri Oct 21, 2005 1:48 pm

I'm glad people see it that way, since I was beginning to think I was weird.

I didn't hang any dancing skeletons or anything offensive like that, though the confetti I did buy had leg bones mixed in with the pumpkins and glitter (though my dad would have said, "Who cares?" about that). It just looks like a bunch of spiderwebs and pumpkins, unless you get up close. And I was sure to securely fasten the webs, so as not to get on anyone's stone. The confetti might blow around a bit, but no one's complained about that in the past.

The worst response I've gotten so far is from an elderly couple. Whenever I tie balloons to Dad's grave, I let one go into the sky. My Grandma always had me do that for my Uncle Larry, and told me that if I let it go he would catch it in heaven. Not that I believe in heaven, but I let mine go just the same. The old couple there on Father's Day asked me what I was doing, and when I told them, they said, "That's stupid. It's just going to get caught in the trees." I wiped my nose (I had been crying) and snapped, "I'd rather be stupid than ignorant like you." Probably not the best response, but...

Scratch · Post by **Scratch** » Fri Oct 21, 2005 3:21 pm

It's unusual, but there's nothing tacky or wierd about it. In fact I respect what you're doing and think that the ones who don't are plain ignorant like you said. You're a better person than them, don't let them make you feel bad.

BUDA · Post by **BUDA** » Fri Oct 21, 2005 3:33 pm

Yeah id agree with what most people have said here, if its what you want to do to remember a dead loved one then do it.

Midnight Toker · Post by **Midnight Toker** » Fri Oct 21, 2005 10:21 pm

That's cool, if it's something he would get a kick out of then keep it up. It's nice to remember a loved one in whatever way you see fit. Like Tom said, the graves that are decorated show that the person was truly loved, i don't consider it to be tacky at all. It's sweet that you want to involve him in the holidays, more power to you.

And for the record, i think this "I'd rather be stupid than ignorant like you." was a fantastic response, bet that shut them up

ErinElizabeth · Post by **ErinElizabeth** » Sat Oct 22, 2005 12:52 am

Well... yeah, it did do that. The lady's jaw dropped, and she just stared at me until I left.

I told my mother today what I did with the grave; I thought the spiderwebs might upset her. Actually, she had no problem with it, and just asked me not to put anything that makes noise or music up there, as it might freak people out.

www.weedguru.com

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