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I thought this might be interesting


Well, where to start...


-one time i told my 16 year old cousin that if he put bengay on his nutsack and jacked it that it would feel like a girl messagin his balls...the dumbass did it later on that night and he didnt stop cryin til the next morning.
- one time at the aquarium i threw popcorn all over my sister and in her hoodie when we were little kids and all the pigeons pecked at her, to this day she has a serious, intense phobia of birds
- I once got chased by a prostitute in Vancouver when i was 12, i called her ugly trying to show off in front of my friends lmao
-I stole a $350 Digital scale from my old highschool
-when i was 13 we stood on a bridge overlooking the highway (cars drive underneath the bridge) and start huckin' snowballs at oncoming traffic, we ended up getting chased , this was with my best friend to this day and i run all the way home, way faster than him, got inside and locked my door. I ran way faster than him and didnt even think twice about waiting for him, he still gives me shit for that
-Had sex with a 15 year old when I was 17
-Fell alseep fucking my GF. had three jobs at the time. mmmm nice and warm and comfy...lol
- another time i was in bed with my GF and was thinking "oh god wouldnt it be horrible if i suddenly went soft", and then i did, this happened on numerous occasions
- aw shit this ones bad, one time when i was in the midst of my 6 month mdma binge (theres another secret for ya!) and i was a complete tweaker, i got in a fight and beat that kid to a pulp man i just kept on swingin' until i could feel my own knuckles shatter, i hit him so hard so long i ended up with a cast for 2 months on my right hand, i feel the worst about this one i can still see his face all fucked up and gasping to breathe
- hmm, oh another time when i was 4 i had one of those compass/protractors for math, you know the ones with pencil on one side and sharp pointy end on the other, i stabbed my little cousin in the back of the head with one of those and he had to go to the hospital, evil 4 yo's i tell you...

think thats about it, one time i got kissed by my stepsister but i justified that as shameless seeing as there was no blood relation and she was cute, no relation at all just another random girl! Thats ok...Right??!?! haha




hopefully you guys answer this as honestly as i did

OH one more!

- once in first grade there was a funny redheaded kid named brendan and when it was his turn for show and tell i ran up behind him and pulled his pants down in front of the class , revealing his weewee to the world

needless to say i wasnt invited to his birthday party

flynn this one is for you, when i was 15 and in australia i went to a nude beach, and behind a bunch of bushes where i went to take a piss i interrupted two beach dikes eatin eachother out

hahahaha thats fukin class, i have no secrets, im gonna have to think what my darkest secret is.

hahahaha funny

Sammy wrote: -I stole a $350 Digital scale from my old highschool

*adds to list of things to do* (i still have a few months to go, lol)

cmon you pussies, how embarrasing if nobody else responds to this

- one time i was at this club and somebody dropped their glass of beer all over me and then i was scared because that top was worth a fucking hundred dollars and was white and was suppose to get dry cleaned so i had the reflex to take it away from the beer but then everybody saw my boobies lol ;/
- my boyfriend found pics of me posing, (nude) on my computer when he came over . ;/`;/;/;/
-this time we were hanging out with 9-10 friends and then i had white pants and i had my periods and ehr ;/ felt humiliated lol
- girl on girl is hot , i admit
-almost felled asleep we were making love an d he was like wtf lol ( i was super stoned)

okay i think im done with the revealations for now lol

"I used to masturbate...constantly!"

lol

Seriously, though, I've stolen (literally) tens of thousands of dollars worth of music and computer programs in MP3s and warez.

This one's kinda funny. There was this guy I went to high school with who thought he was the shit because all the girls loved him and he was basically Mr. Popularity. It turns out, though, that his penis might have been a little smaller than average (think 1.5, maybe 2 inches). So, one day while he was taking a shower after football practice, a few of us ran in with a Polaroid camera, took a picture, ran out and made copies and passed them out around school. No one looked at him quite the same way after that. Everyone besides him thought it was funny as shit though.

Weedguru Chicka wrote:-
- girl on girl is hot , i admit

This is certainly one of the better things ive heard today.

Umm allright pissed all over some girls car when drunk.
Stole CD decks outta cars for a while
Used to steal pills from the hospital mom worked there then i sold them.
Got drunk and busted into someones house.
Was a porno freak at one time. (that stage has passed.0

The worst thing ive done tho was fucked a fat chick for weed. I mean she gave me an O of nuggers I couldnt pass it up. Close your eyes and use your imagination if this ever happens.

-Beat up a guy six to one for robbing one of our friends.
-Peed in someone's fuel tank and then put sugar and mud in it.
-Fired 250 paintball pellets at some dick's car, we even made the newspaper. His car was fucked though
-Smacked a 10-year old upside the head because he annoyed me on the bus.
-Lit some old guy's mailbox on fire.
-Random drive-by paintballings.
-Got a teacher fired by spreading incriminating photographs of him.

Ok i think this is really Therapeuti, and fun. So here i go.

- I lost my Virginity to a Gay man. ( I did not turn him gay, he wanted to make sure he was gay, and i wanted to get it over and done with, wrong attitude)
- I was in a teenage mental health unit when i was 16 for 10 months, suffering with clincal depression. (well over it now)
- I have snogged 6 girls, and slept with one, this was quite a few years ago.
- Im in over £3000 of debt.
- The first time i ever felt a penis was when i was 11
- I was 13 when i had my first kiss (tongues)
- I once had a guy go down on me in the back of a taxi

Ok i think im done

I'm gonna need saucier material.

Ive just made myself sound like a slut.

extremesister wrote:Ive just made myself sound like a slut.

How come when a guy does it, he's a pro and when a girl does it, she's a ho? To heck with that. Be free and be proud of your youthful/sexual indiscretions.

-My grandmother gave me my first vibrator. We were on a long train trip and she gave me a box full of drawing supplies and crafts to keep me occupied. Mr. Squiggly pen sure did keep me occupied. Come to think of it, how the hell did I ever make that connection? I was like, 10.
-After Mr Squiggly pen finally died, when I was thirteen, I was very upset. How does a thirteen year old get herself a new sextoy? I stole it from the nightstand of a neighbor I was babysitting for. I knew she would know I stole it, but be too embarassed to confront me. I washed it with windex.

My deepest darkest secret: I was 11. They were fighting again. He was yelling at her, he only wanted her, and maybe their child, not her fucking kids. They didn't have enough money to play family. If the kids weren't there, they could be happy. I was on the front porch, rocking myself and crying. We had a lot of barn cats. A little kitten approached me. For no reason it scratched me visciously on the leg and then scampered away. As something crashed inside I snapped. I picked up the kitty and hurled it at the shed wall. Immediately I felt so sickened... I heard a myelp and watched the kitty fall to the ground with a thunk. I was horrified. I genuinely liked kitties. Cautiously I went to see if it was okay. It wasn't. I think I broke it's back. I went hysterical. I took the kitty into the house, crying, interrupting their raging fight. "Mommy...mommy I found this poor little cat... omg mommy what happened, the poor kitty what are we going to do???!!!" and as my mom comforted me, I heard the voice of my stepfather. "It's that dog". He came over to us. He had the rage in his eyes. "Look, you can see there where the fur is wet: spittle". "No, I don't think it was the dog..." I mumbled. "Cari, we can't have this. I already warned you we'd have to get rid of the dog of it didn't stop killing chickens". (His idea was to tie the dead chicken around her neck until it rotted off, which seemed to be working). He strolled to the oak hutch and reached up... when I saw what he was reaching for my legs buckled and I almost fainted. "NO!!!" But he was talking over me, calm, calculated, with the rage in his eyes. That's how he always made it feel better, by torturing some animal to death. But not my dog. Even as I wailed I heard him explaining.... "two chickens, now a cat, what's next, your little sister"? I heard the front door slam. Mom restrained me from following him. I raced to the window. "here girl! Here Maggie!" he called. I saw her race up to him from the barn, wagging her tail. She thought they were going hunting. I could smell the woodsmoke burning, felt my mother holding my head against her chest, stroking my hair. I wached them go behind the chicken coop. BOOOM!!! The unmistakable sound of my 410 shotgun. He fucking used my gun. Then I heard it again, a few seconds later. The rest of that night is a blur. Sitting in my chair under a red light I had taken from the incubators weeks before, I kept imagining Maggie coming to get me. Why did I lie? It wasn't against the rules to throw kittens. I would have gotten in no trouble. But I knew it was wrong and so I lied to cover up my own shame. And he killed her for my crime. He fucking killed my best friend. Maggie was the best dog ever. She had an amazing nose and was so smart, she knew how to use it to help me. When we hunted she always retrieved, no matter how many barbed wire fences she had to get through. When I lost a piece of riding equipment, I just had her smell the halter and said "go get it, girl"! and she would retrace our trail, coming back hours later with the object in her mouth. When I lost my shoes, I made her smell my feel and she happily retrieved them from waaay over by the swimming ditch where I'd left them. I used to put a horse halter on her, which fit just like a dog halter, and she accompanied me on so many rides... all those rides I took to escape what was happening at home. The next morning I went to look and was shocked that he didn't even bury her, he was gone for so long. It looked like his aim wasn't very good and the first shot had torn her face off. Her shattered skulls brains and blood were fucking everywhere. And it was all frozen. I had to pry her remains with a shovel and then I tried to bury her but the ground was too hard, so I put her in the bottom of the dry cold ditch and covered her with rocks.

-Michael, my stepdad, was my hero. I loved him. He pretended to like me too, but all he was really interested in was fucking my mother and corrupting me. He's the one who brought crack into our home all those years later. But back when I was 11, we lived on a farm and we had many, many animals. Michael taught me how to butcher them. We would butcher them and my mother cleaned them. She was always in the kitchen and never saw what he did. I remember harvesting chickens with him. "You grab a few like this" as he callously went after them. If they were hard to catch he beat the shit out of them and broke their legs until they stopped moving. When we butchered rabbits, the cute fuzzy ones that I sometimes went out to pet, he explained that you hung them upside down so that they would bleed out when you slit their throats. Michael nailed their back feet to a board. I watched them squeal. Rabbits dont really have voices but they made the most desperate noices when he crucified them and slit their throats, the thick blood gurgling out, steam coming from their open throat holes. Sometimes I could see their little hearts pumping furiously as they died. Michael showed me. When we brought back fish in a bucket, he always cut one fish open, to watch it and the other fish eat its own entrails. And that is how I came to be a little bastard who hurts animals. We had too many roosters; they were fucking all the feathers off of the chickens. Michael told me to dispose of them, in any way i wanted, he said with a grin. I took one rooster and disabled him - by shooting him in both wings and both legs with my bb gun. Then I threw him into the pigpen and watched as the pigs fought over his broken but still very much alive body. They ripped him asunder and I don't think he was dead until he was in two different pigs' stomachs. I've seen michael shove sharp things up animals' asses to get them to move. Ive seen him beat an animal with a hoe until thick ropes of blood were flying and the animal was no longer moving, but still he beat. I helped Michael butcher and poach our neighbor's cow. We spent all night butchering; we buried the skin and head behind my room. When a cat needed neutering, Michael put them in a burlap sack with a hold in it. He pulled the cat's nuts out, sliced them out as if he were peeling grapes, sprayed it with iodine, and that was that.

Thus conclused my deepest secret. I loved a man who was evil, and bred evil things into my heart. Those years are why I will always be a vegetarian.

my deepest dark secret? well, settle down guys, here's my tale of woe...

It was Christmas Eve and my Wife had kept bugging me to go and get her a paper from the shops, she also wanted me to get a kinder egg for johnny... johnny was our 11 year ungrateful son, maybe he was that way because he was blind......he had been blind since birth and he had learnt brail quite easily but still he was in a bad temper all the time and he hated me....his room was dark with pictures of scribble and spit on the walls.....He just rocks on his bed every time i enter the room murmering to himself and shouting I HATE YOU! over and over................
My wife never fogave me for that dreadful day..............................................................but I’m rambling.
I went to the shops and purchased the items i was ordered to buy, i took them home with haste making sure i didn’t trip along the way.
I came home and my wife was shouting at the telly as always.....the telly wasn’t even on.........poor sad cow.
i went up stairs to try and make johnny feel better with a kinder egg............he through it at me and said " I HATE YOU, YOU SAD wanker " my rage started to boil....... I left the room quickly he followed me into the bathroom groping his way along the walls.."I HATE YOU" he persisted.
Its then when i grabbed his head and pushed his face into the bathroom mirror, screams, blood, bits of mirror could be seen and heard.......
He reclined falling onto the floor i then got his head again and put it into the toilet bowl and smashed the lid against his face, i then tried to drown him in his own piss...............It was done.
I made tea that night, with lovely bits of tender meat and cranberry sauce...
My Wife asked "wheres johhny?" just as she said the last word she coughed up an eyeball...................................................I could never ever go on the same toilet ever again, so i used to relive myself in my wifes meat pies........shift aside johnny i need to go......
The Cranberry Sauce was very red that day very red it was indeed..