www.weedguru.com

but you are too stoned to mentally focus on what your doing, therefore leaving you with a waste of control.

i grow the finest bread in the whole land.

but you burn/drown/burry/blow yourself (away) each time u try using them


I can eat more than 1million chefs could ever prepare!

But you ate all the food in the world in one day so you die, and everyone else feasts on your corpse.

I am highly skilled in every martial art in the world.

but a 6 year old kid could still beat ur ass

I can smoke 10 jays in one toke

but you have bad asthma

I can make people orgasm just by looking at them..

But unfortunately you take most of the load.

A big weed plant grows in every footprint I make.

but you were tracked down, strapped down and put in a government lab for testing

i can live in peoples dreams

But some fucking girl stops believing in you and kills you.

I have the power to control minds.

But you can't control your own mind

I can transform into anyone I want to

But you suddenly realise it's been done before and commit suicide.

I can summon an army of undead that only I can command.

but they turn on you becuase they are against weed

I dont need sleep, i am constantly refreshed

but your body smells so bad you faint from the stench


I can send the emoticons that you see on the left when replying through your monitors to kill your typing asses! (including typing with hands, feet,face, any body parts, any other random tools that can be used to type) muaaha!

but your internet broke

i can freeze things

But it's really fucking hot outside.

I can clone myself repeatedly.

but they always turn into a giant blob after 5 mins and explode

I can melt things