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Posted: **Mon Dec 20, 2004 7:50 am**

But we belong to a knowing society wearing earmuffs we feed the ducks poison and shoot dildos at you with a giant dildo shooting machine leaving you unconcious with a big dildo up your ass. You can't die from a dildo shooting machine, you know.

I have a dildo shooting machine.

Posted: **Mon Dec 20, 2004 8:00 am**

Too bad your dildo machine was stolen by your dad to pleasure himself with, leaving you defensless as I rip the most horrifying farts that you've ever smelt, they cause everyone within a mile of me to vomit and shit themselves uncontrolably.

Posted: **Mon Dec 20, 2004 8:04 am**

But thats disgusting and no one will be your friend.

I'm so fine when i walk by people's eyes go like this -->

Posted: **Mon Dec 20, 2004 8:10 am**

But in the back of your self-concious mind you think they are staring at your cottage cheese thighs! and you kill yourself.

I cause mens' penises to explode!

*Blood orgy! Blood orgy!*

Posted: **Mon Dec 20, 2004 8:14 am**

So you never get laid

I can make the greatest sandwich the world has ever seen...

Posted: **Mon Dec 20, 2004 8:21 am**

But that's coz you work at Subway.

I know the secrets of the universe. Including yo momma.

Posted: **Mon Dec 20, 2004 12:38 pm**

But since you know everything, you figure ther'e no point in really living so you shoot yourself in the head

i can achieve immortal youth

Posted: **Mon Dec 20, 2004 12:41 pm**

but ur an old fart already

I have hollidays starting tomorrow, i will be stoned all day long

Posted: **Mon Dec 20, 2004 12:49 pm**

i dont go to school...so i get stoned everyday....ha

i have the power to raise the dead

Posted: **Mon Dec 20, 2004 12:58 pm**

thats been done 4 times , its old

I can make flies fly higher and kill airplanes

Posted: **Mon Dec 20, 2004 12:59 pm**

you can't kill an airplane!!!!!!????

i can turn back time

Posted: **Mon Dec 20, 2004 1:00 pm**

You cant change time but time can change you so fuck it (haha limp bizkit lyric)

I can make earplugs eat your brains out!

Posted: **Tue Dec 21, 2004 9:21 pm**

But, being the stoner that you are, 4 1/2 years later you move into a noisy downtown apartment and have forgotten about this power. While tossing and turning one night, you reach into the nightstand drawer.... your last... fatal... move.

RIP.

I can levitate things.

Posted: **Wed Dec 22, 2004 3:40 am**

But unfortunately every object that you levitate automatically ends up hovering over your head and falling on you within 10 seconds of it's flight.

I possess a unique anarchist super power that enables me to turn cop cars pink and change their tires into doughnuts.

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