www.weedguru.com

but no occasions to go to

I can fastforward time, so ill jsut fastforwar till the 21st so i can start smokin again

But when you get there, the earth is being run by damn, dirty apes!!

I poop Turkish hashish.

But it tastes and smells as bad as where it came from.

I never run out of ideas...

And you go crazy and try to drill out your brain like in the movie Pi.

I know who is going to win every sporting event imaginable.

But you're banned from every betting shop in the world.

I'm omnipotent.

but God got pissed with the competition and smite thee down!!!



i can stop time.

but you can't start it up again

i have the power to find losts thing eg wallets keys sacks of bud millions of pound of hidden gold

Except their all worth crap.

I can eat as much food as I want without getting fat and burn it off as easily as I want.

...but your face looks like somebody tried to put out a forest fire with a screwdriver! ah hahahaha

I can create fine calligraphy using strawberry juice and my tongue.

Except you keep getting paper cuts and die of loss of blood.

I can cum for as long as I want.

...but you don't clean up after yourself (ew).

I can read at the rate of 4500 words per minute.

unfortunately you go blind in mere seconds

I can use anything i want as a voodoo doll to agonize people i dislike, sometimes even people i like

But something gets fucked up and you only hurt yourself.

I can do my homework correctly

But that isn't really a super power.

I can run across water. I can run right across it, and I'm safe when I get to the other side.

haha, but your feet are all wet and slippery so you slip and break your neck

I can pass jays around using my telekinetic(sp?) powers!! i can take it away from people aswell