www.weedguru.com

but everyone hates and flames u coz u talk utter shit

I am the smartest person in the universe

But nobody wants to play with you because you're a nerd.

I can manipulate metal. (think Magneto)

but u wore braces as a kid and u riped them out while tryin to steal a blind mans crutches (u sick sick bastard )

i can summon any weapon i want

But i'll manipulate your mind before you can do anything.
I am God.

But Weedguru Funk Doctor has proven you don't exist.

I can bring people back to life.

but u kill everytime you do this

i can beat chika at posting

But that only proves you're a supergeek.

I can breathe underwater.

but u cant breath in air

i can write really fast

But you're an analphabetic.

I can speak every language in the universe.

but u have no tongue

I can make pillows float on the air and choke people to death :p

but lost all lung capacity because of your smoking habit

i can walk through walls

but anything physical aside from your body (clothes, weed, money) falls to the floor as you walk through...



my car never runs out of gas.

But you live in my town, so it doesn't matter, COZ THERE'S NOWHERE TO FUCKIN' GO!!! Ah hahahahaha

I can traverse the most extreme terrain in this earthly world, both high mountains and deep under the ocean.

(These are real superpowers you can't take them away from me really!)

But you can't do it because I tied you up to the wall !
I could have sex with whoever i'd want

but you can't now cus ur tied to my bed hahahahahahaha

i have a whales lungs (yo dude let me hit that!)