I'm losin' my grip

[Saver]

I know exactly where you're coming from so if you need any1 to talk to throw me a PM...

Don't read the next part if you are stoned! I don't want to ruin your high with my misery!

2 years ago 3 days before valentines day my ex finished with me, we'd been going out for a year an 8 months when we'd split up. We'd been scuba diving in austrailia together the christmas just before we split. I was so in love, maybe too in love for my age but i genuinely thought she was the one. So yeah she finished with me and slept with my best mate at the time, they carried on fucking and got together. At the time we hung around as 1 social group of friends so when we split up my friends carried on seeing them 2 and not me, every1 stopped ringing me up no1 asked if i was ok i was just dropped, just like that. So i had no friends for about a year, i lost all motivation, stopped going to college. All i could be bothered to do was play WoW (World of Warcraft for those that don't know ) all day because my PC is next to my bed. At 1st I laughed at the thoughts about suicide that popped into my head, that was about 6 months after we split up, I imagine they'd have kicked in sooner if I didn't have WoW to take my mind of it. At 1st they weren't anything great, but then as life trundled on i started thinking about it more and more, and got more and more depressed. Started researching ways of suicide about 6 months ago.. 2 times I've been closest to killing myself was when i took a shit load of paracetamol and ibuprofen, i'd researched that they didn't kill you fast or that the chance was high to die. I just didn't care if i spent 5 days creasing up on the floor in agony untill my liver packed in.. But nothing happened from that so kinda wierd, maybe 1 day my liver will suddenly just explode. Then another time i was really depressed I layed in the bath with a knife, i had a go at my wrist to see if i cut hack the pain, but i couldn't.

So 2 years down the line not much has changed, still alone - all attempts to get a girl have failed to the point of giving up all together. No job, a poor college education, no motivation to do anything, nothing in life interest me except games and weed (oh bless this holy plant) not much i can plan a career on, and i can't even be bothered to do anything about it.

I am of stable mind currently and i have my highs and lows. I don't trouble others with my problems, this is the only place where i have truelly voiced how it is (sorry if this offends people but it's easy to talk about it when no1 knows you). I don't really have the balls to hang myself or cut myself up so i just exist untill something will happen be it my life ends or it drastically changes. But if some1 handed me a gun it wouldn't take much persuasion for me to pull the trigger.

Oh man i feel crap now, and i have no weed just to top it off! life sucks ..

[buttermilk]

After reading that last post, I realized that this shouldn't be in the "Generally Chillin" section cause no one here seems to be chillin... Anyways, not that I'm good at advice or anything but sounds like most people here need to get back on their feet... Other than that, I really don't know what to tell you...Now I'm depressed for being a dumbass...

[wizz]

Anyong remember this post?

Ive had someone as indimidating as you said. He neerly killed my girl, held knives to her neck numerous times and etc. at school, this guy was a total nut case.. me and my friends made him have more mental health issues lets put it that way.

He hit my girl, she called me. I got my friends, we picked on dark tracksuits with baraclavas and bassball bats and i carried 1 knife. My mate dan is 23 and drives a fiesta, we kicked the living shit out of him and stuffed him in the boot. Dragged him inside Dans bassment, tied him laying on a tabel... switched the lights off and he screamed. I found dans old chainsaw and turned it on and he screamed so much we had to put on his stereo upstairs to 100 DB then close all the doors. We turned the lights on for him to find a man with a chainsaw in his face. He cried like a fucking bitch, i put the saw down.

We poured lighter fluid all over him, and threatened to set him alight.... then untied him and let him run away... he never even spoke a word for 7months and i found out about 3 months later he had been to councelling for it.

This is when i was a total pig, i never apprechiated other peoples minds whatsoever in any way. I feel sorry for him more than anything and i wished to have just had a normal fight with him, rather than doing that and mentally torturing him.

But in life i guess we have to learn in some way, rather it being a negative way like mine or positive i still learnt the consequences of my actions and to be honest i would never commit an inhuman act similar to that again.

ya please leave the forums bear, i dont like to see compulsive liars make up shit...

[wizz]

god im so stoned and saw this, thanks for giving me the giggles i havent had them in a long ass time HAHAHA, DARK TRACKSUITS! BASEBALL BATS! YA! haha what a joke

[(weedguru)scarf]

hahaha BEAR you're WRONG dude... just WRONG!

but i think we need a relationship advice forum... seems like there is always a lot of love problems going on in here! not saying its wrong...not in the Bear sense anyway.... but i think the mods should set up a separate area for this.

hope things are going ok VD

peace

[weedguru tom]

i broke up with a girl 8 months ago i was with her 5 YEARS, lived with her blah blah, we were soul mates, but shit happerns we split up, saw differnt people, i seem to be going through girls and finding i really dotn like them, so im still hunting for the right girl, but to me man sounds like u need to get laid, always fix'es bein` dumped, go fuck her best friend or her sister er somthin lmao, in yoru state of mind id serisouly give up weed for a bit, layoffem, you say your in college? take advantage of that where all the people your age are all inthe same place, trust me when you get outta college the only place you gonna get a set ammount of easy goin` people get slimmer, get a new hobby, you will meet loads of new poeple in a area that you are interested in.

shit get a dog or somthin` to keep you busy, but somthin that GETS you out the house, you need some ..whats the word.... responcibilities! (sp)
you can msg me if ya ever feel down, but serisouly hurting your self ? thats just what your ex would of wanted, dont let her have her own way ! when i split with mine, i felt liek i was gonna be a wreck, shit i mean she was even in my kickboxin class's that was awkward! but she left cuz i was persistant and went 5 days a week about 4 months and it really helped me pyschically and mentally, look into it!

just get back on your feet, and set your self some goals. you`ll be aiight blaad..