Ugggh. 27 hours is all I have left with him. I haven't really started packing yet. There are a lot of things coming up in my immediate future - a ZZ Top concert with my mom, all my friends I haven't seen all summer, moving back to the big city where I was before Danny died (14 hours away

) and my old job working in a vegetarian place back. But I don't want these things. I want to stay here with my man and my cats. If I had more money, if only I could earn money in Canada this winter, I could stay. Leaving is soooo hard. I have never really felt this way about someone before. We get along so well, its hard to believe after all this time, almost 5 months of bein together 24/7 we only had one little argument that lasted less than 10 minutes and we still fell asleep together. I know it's special. Ever since we met it's felt special. From moving in together at the resort and not bein able to keep our hands off eachother at work to him quitting for me when I got fired, and moving here and setting up our beautiful log cabin, adopting cats and just hangin out all summer coz we don't know anyone else here. It took us a long time to admit how we felt but when we did, neither could deny that more than sex and physical attraction is between us.... much more. I can't even describe how painful it is to look at the sun reflecting in his beautiful blue eyes, which look like some kind of precious gem, sparkling as he looks at me and we prepare to say goodbye. The way he has treated me this summer has taken away so much of my pain, and replaced it with a joy that only comes when you know someone is there for you, someone has your back and cares for you no matter what ugly things happen.
Being apart and having a long distance relationship has inherent risks.... we've talked about it. I guess I'm going to be the one surrounded by people while I've got him safely tucked away from the ladies at our country home. I will NOT, NEVER EVER allow someone else in my space while I am away. I would never choose someone over him, no matter how much distance and time separates us. I love him, and not being able to touch him will not stop that. I had feelings for him before we were ever in the same physical space, when it was only his mind I had access to. Now we've come full circle and it will be like that again.
So this is the last day of the best summer of my life. We are optomistic, but inevitably sad. Saying goodbye is never easy, especially when the one you say goodbye to is the most kind, funny and sexy man you've ever met in your life. Weedguru brought us together, and for that I'm grateful.
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