www.weedguru.com

But you're this guy.



I can enter other people's dreams.

But it's their sick little minds which controls your actions while your in there.

I can roll everlasting joints.

But they have the unique quality of disintegrating if smoked by the preparer...

I have a vibrating tongue.

But you cant stop it so when you try to eat or drink you end up spitting it all over the place.

I can give a woman an orgasm just by looking at her.

LOL

But you quickly find out that this is not a cool superpower because you can't avoid fat nasty women on the street and they all figure out what it is about you that makes them cream between their fat nasty thighs so you get followed and tackled constantly by Xlarge nasty himshes

I can make beautiful women orgasm instantly by looking at them sexily.

ha

But your moms hot so everytime you speak to her you have to watch you own mother have a screaming orgasm.

I can catch bullets between my teeth.

lol.

But you can't do a damn thing about that sniper with a crossbow.

I can urinate diet pepsi.

but the bubbles infect your piehole (eeuw)

I can make people's heads explode by playing guitar

But you cant remember any songs.

I can run faster than a car.

but I ride my bike faster

I can disleg people by hopping around (as in cutting their legs off just under the knee)

But you lost you shoe one day and your whole family died from bloodloss.

I can do everything better than everyone else.

except for me, im a nobody

i can make bill gates bark like a dog

im amused by how everyone posts about sexual situations or talks about how they can do things the best, the highest, the longest, the fastest, the smartest, people want money, love, sex, violence, and they disregard the fantasies of others using only the most detrimental and supressing clauses for their hopes. you cant do this because you die, or you become handicapped, or your small, or weak, or fat, or ugly... we strive to make ourselves better by hurting those around us, ridiculing them and therfore expanding our egos. its interesting to note these common threads and wonder why we havent mentioned the ability to rid the world of famine, war, disease, suffering, pain, anger, of pullution... nobody has suggested helping someone else with their powers, or feeding orphans, no one is helping the poor, or single mothers, or children without education. nobody contributed to healthcare, education, social programs. human nature is selfish and disturbing.

Man, what do you have up your ass?

nothin man. just stoned rambling.