This February 15th be sure to dedicate yourself to pointing out all the innuendo you possibly can. If your friends don't know what you're doing be sure to make it clear within the first 20 minutes of converstation that "that's what she said." Get creative, even leave yourself open for other people who may think that that's what she said. Here is a list of times and places where it would be most appropriate to spring your best "that's what she said" cracks:
-The Workplace, to customers and clients whenever possible. For example:
Customer: "Is this the only color it comes in?"
Salesman: "That's what she said."
-The mall, preferably by interjecting into a strangers conversation. For example:
Girl talking to best friend: "Have you ever had a toblerone chocolate bar?"
Girl's Best Friend: "Yes, it was the best I've ever had."
You (Loudly and from behind): "That's what she said!"
-When someone has just had a head injury:
You (concerned): "Wow Jim, that looked like it hurt."
Amnesiac (who used to know he was your co-worker): "Say my name again."
You (smiling and walking off) "That's what she said."
-Your local cinema; movies are packed with times to loudly blurt out this zippy one-liner. For example:
James Bond: "Shaken, not stirred."
You (Yelling and standing up): "That's what she said."
-The open airwaves. If you happen to be a radio DJ pay attention, most modern song lyrics leave ample opportunity for you to relate what she said mid-song.
For example:
Evanescene (singing): "You never call me when you're sober"
Radio DJ (interupting):"That's what she said."
-Combat situations: For our men in women in places of turmoil nothing is a better stress reliever than a good joke. For example:
Platoon Commander: "Johnson, you and your squad take the left flank!"
Sgt Johnson: "That's what she said, sir."
-When meeting new members of the opposite sex
Woman: "Who are you and why are you staring at me like that?"
You: "That's what she said."
-The dinner table
Grandad: "Irwin, finish that up."
Irwin: "That's what she said."
-Public libraries
You: "Do you have anything on wankle rotary engines?"
Librarian: "Hmm, that's a hard one."
You: "That's what she said."
-While checking out at the cash register
Cashier: "Would you like any cash back?"
You (winking): "That's what she said."
-Checking out of hotels
Desk Clerk: "I hope you enjoyed your stay."
You (looking upward with a fond grin on your face): "Hmm, that's what she said."
-Classy restaurants.
Waiter: "Be careful, sir, it's quite hot."
You (making determined eye contact): "That's what she said."
-While Working at The Home Depot:
Unsuspecting Yuppie: "I'm here for some lumber."
Bored Sales Associate: "That's what she said."
-While shopping at The Home Depot:
Lot Attendant (while loading your manure): "Look out, this thing stinks."
You: "That's what she said."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FcrD-mmhO4M
I'm so excited for tomorrow, I've been honing my skills all day. Make sure you fellas and ladies spread the word and the innuendos manana.
